Pirate Master Walks the Plank

This week CBS canceled what they were hoping was thier next Mark Burnett summer hit, Pirate Master.

For those of you who didn’t see Pirate Master, try to imagine this: Survivor on a pirate ship. Or Big Brother on a pirate ship. Or,  envision Survivor and Big Brother’s homely sibling with the dull personality and the corrective shoes. You know, the one who walks around school wearing that stupid eye patch and pirate hat.

The thing about a reality show is that it should be based in some sort of reality that most people can relate to. When was the last time, if ever, that  you thought about being a pirate?

I watched Pirate Master, thinking that it would be something to whet my appetite for Big Brother. Boy, was I wrong. The challenges were interesting enough, but I had a problem with them being on a phony pirate ship. What was the point?

Did the producers think that interpersonal conflicts would feel like mutiny? You really can’t have mutiny without swashbuckling. What kind of pirates don’t swashbuckle?

And there was always a kind of fake feel about the whole thing, and good reality shows shouldn’t feel fake, even when they are. The cast was really flat, and seemed like they were cardboard cutouts of personality types from past Survivor episodes.

Those who do watch it will not have to worry about finding out who wins. CBS plans on broadcasting the remaining episodes for the next five Tuesdays on CBS.com But don’t expect a new captain and crew to sail into your lives next year.

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