Reality Roll Call

By Lakiya Emerson

The Milwaukee round is the final auditions in So You Think You Can Dance before Vegas. It opened with a hip hop montage that had Nigel giving comments such as, “hip hop isn’t a style it’s a culture.” It was like hearing Simon Cowell talk about the difference between rap and hip hop—totally unexpected.

Michael Kim was the first to audition. He popped and locked his way across the stage looking like a preying mantis. Michael, who had made it to the Vegas round last year but was kicked out because he couldn’t samba, will be returning to Vegas this year.

Next we had the proverbial, “we’re here to support” montage where friends and family are shown sitting with the contestant. It closes with Katee and Natalie, two roommates who have decided to support each other. Both of them make it to Vegas.

Janette and Romulo, a pair of Latin dancers, take the stage next and their series of lifts and drops were combined with some interesting tricks that included Janette bending backwards and Romulo lifting her up and down with his leg. However, Romulo, though he’s great for a trick or two, isn’t such a great dancer. He has to sit back while Janette goes off to Vegas.

They saved the crazy folks for after the commercial break. But first, a tapdancer named Bianca, performed to Earth Wind and Fire and then Moonwalked her way to Vegas.

She was followed by James, who has worked with four or five different choreographers over the course of the year and was fired up and ready to make it to the top twenty. At least that’s where his choreographers assured him he would go. I hope he didn’t pay them. His audition was Footloose on crack—seriously. Mary, with her trademark cackle-guffaw said, “I’m so sorry James, but no”. James tried to talk his way in. Unfortunately for him, this show isn’t So You Think You Can Speak.

Evan gave us a Gene Kelly-inspired set, punctuated by a powerful leap with hyperextension—not too many males hyperextend. All he needed was two counters and some ripped jeans and he’d be channeling Jean Claude VanDamme.

I’m not quite sure what a contestant named Victor was trying to do. He said his performance was all about the conflict between individuality and society. He was dressed like the Pied Piper of Individuality. In fact, I think I might have seen him trapped in my closet.

Chavis clearly loved toe touches. All he needed was a ribbon and a couple of backflips and he would have been doing a bad gymnastic routine. He received 2 stars and no ticket.

Kourtni was a dancer whose mother had been her dance instructor for 15 years. And this mother was no Dina Lohan, because Kourtni, who is almost a dead ringer for Uma Thurman, was amazing. She’s going to Vegas, and Nigel suggested that she could be the lead in Kill Bill the ballet. I agree.

Tom raises goats. They may have been his choreographers. That would explain why kept randomly falling on the floor.

Shelly made it to the choreography round on the strength of her personality and her booty shaking skills. Nigel was highly impressed, but she didn’t make it to Vegas

Susie was a Miami high school teacher who could be a stand-in for the Pussycat Dolls. Nigel called her a bootleg Shakira, but she made it through to the choreography round on the strength of her sexiness. Somehow she pulls it together to get a golden ticket.

Rebecca from Fresno had actually auditioned in Las Vegas two weeks before, but the judges weren’t too excited by her “competition” style of dancing—one too many spirit fingers and she looked like she had Vaseline on her teeth. So Rebecca toned her performance down and re-auditioned in Milwaukee. They love her new style and she makes it to Las Vegas

Have you ever listened to people who are clearly speaking English, but you’re still unable to understand them? That’s how I felt during Brice and hostess Cat Deeley’s interview. Brice, who is from Cameroon, had an abundance of personality…until he started dancing. His dance skills got him to the choreography round, but the judges weren’t too excited about his performance and he didn’t make it to Vegas

A dancer named Cooper opened up hour two of SYTCD. Nigel compared him to Tyce and then promptly sent him to Vegas.

Cooper was followed by friends, Yousenia and Phillip who both auditioned last year. She had made it to the fourth round before being kicked off, but she was inspired by the experience to go home and lose fifty pounds. She looked really great, but during her audition her knee gave out. She proceeded to let loose the ugly cry—you know, the one where your face scrunches up and your words run together? When she got herself together, she gave a very inspirational speech about how SYTCD encouraged her to change her life. I’m rooting for her to come back next year.

Yessenia’s friend Phillip danced phenomenally and then cried over her. He didn’t cry for too long since the judges sent him to Vegas.

Next, Nigel had a Tyra moment.

Raymond, who happens to be a minister and choreographer, performed with a gorgeous girl who was a stand-in. But from the way Raymond was dancing, you’d think it was the other way around. Nigel actually stopped Raymond and told him that he looked like he was dancing with a piece of meat. Nigel says, “I’d like to believe you actually give a sh*t about her.” Raymond is allowed to start over. Unfortunately, Raymond appears to be the Mariah Carey of dance: great choreographer, boring performer. After the second part of his audition, Raymond cries, and is more passionate in defending the meaning of the choreography than he was about dancing it. But he does make it to the choreography round, which does not end well for him.

Raymond was followed by Hau, who was dressed like a Village People aborigine of some sort. He danced—I think. He might have been putting a hex on the stage. I was confused. I think the judges were too.

Lizz tap-danced in the oldest pair of tap shoes I’ve ever seen. They were even duct-taped, but they must be lucky because she made it straight to Vegas.

In the end, 22 Milwaukee dancers will be joining the roughly 200 in Vegas to compete for the top 20 spots in tomorrow’s show.