Reality Roll Call

The distaste of Project Runway 4 was pretty strong for me. None of the designers seemed to produce anything NEW—everything was “inspired by” or “an homage” or “influenced by,” and all of it was bland and boring. But my interest in the series was revived upon watching the immaculate Iman as she hosted Project Runway Canada, so I tuned in tonight to the premier of Bravo’s Season 5 hoping to see if some of the Canuck talent had trickled down south. In many ways, this season is shaping up to be much, much better than last season—and not because it opens with designer Jerell walking down a Manhattan street with little more than a fedora and a toned sixpack. I’m glad to see Project Runway is giving the people (women, gays) what they want.

As the show begins with the traditional montage of introductions and many bios, I’m beginning to notice that aside from the fact that most of  the contestants are very hot, they remind me of other cast members from previous seasons. It occurred to me that Bravo is playing with the tried and true format of casting “characters” a la The Real World. Observe the designers, in order of appearance:

1. Jerell Scott, 28, from Los Angeles – Summary: Dapper black man, former model turned couture designer; has with a great Tim Gunn impression Character Type: Man of color with hip-hop flair and established business looking to take game to the next level Resembles: Season 4’s Rami, Season 2’s Santino, Season 3’s Michael Knight

2. Blayne Walsh, 23, from Seattle, Washington Summary: Barista-and-poor-man’s-Ken-Paves who designs street wear and has a tanning obsession Character Type: Flamboyant gay man with quirky personal style and over-the-top personality Resembles: Season 4’s Chris, Season 2’s Andre, Season 3’s Kayne

3. Joe Faris, 41 from Detroit, Michigan Summary: Family man with striking facial hair is out here to win this for his family Character Type: family man and apologetic straight dude Resembles: season 1’s Wendy, Season 4’s Kevin, Season 3’s Vincent, Season 1’s Robert

4. Stella Zotis, 42, from Queens, New York Summary: Rock n’ Roll chick with established punk-rock clientele hopes Project Runway will allow her to move her career to the next level Character Type: Monotone goth-punk designer who wants to expand into couture Resembles: Season 3’s Jeffery

5. Jennifer Diederich, 27, from Florence, Italy (by way of New York) Summary: Plain wallflower designer who creates cute clothing which she describes as “Holly Golightly goes to a Salvatore Dali exhibit” Character Type: Tomboyish, quiet designer who can’t stand the heat Resembles: Season 3’s Katherine, Season 3’s Bonnie

6. Kelli Martin, 27 from Columbus, Ohio Summary: Blonde and tattooed designer with own store, creating clothes which are “if Vivienne Westwood and Betsy Johnson had a baby” Character Type: Blonde yet bubbling blonde with Sailor Jerry Sleeve tattoos and struggling business Resembles: Season 4’s Sweet P

7. Terri Stevens, 39, from Chicago, Illinois Summary: Older, more established black woman who draws inspiration from musicians Character Type: Slender black woman with more than a little dash of crazy Resembles: Season 1’s Kara Saun, Season 2’s Zulema

8. Jerry Tam, 32 from Butte, Montana Summary: Asian designer with successful business and classic designs seeks more exposure Character Type: Overly confident career designer who’s hubris is checked by early auf wiedersehen Resembles: Season 1’s Daniel Franco, Season 1’s Mario

9. “Suede” Stephen Whitney Baum, 37, from New York City Summary: Over-the-top pseudo punk gay man with a silly voice and a background in denim. Character Type: Over-the-top pseudo punk gay man with a silly voice and a background in craftwork. Resembles: Season 4’s Ricky, Season 1’s Jay, Season 2’s Raymundo

10. Keith Bryce, 26, from Salt Lake City, Summary: Sycophantic, self taught designer who may or may not have self-esteem and sexuality issues Character Type: The self-doubting, sensitive male cipher Resembles: Season 4’s Steven, Season 3’s Robert

11. Korto Momolu, 33, from Little Rock, AK (by way of Liberia) Summary: Strong, multicultural designs by a confident southern designer Character Type: Feisty (usually) black woman with international background looking to break out of her successful if limited local market Resembles: Season 4’s Carmen, Season 2’s Chloe, Season 1’s Kara Saun

12. Kenley Collins, 25, from Pompano Beach, Florida Summary: Loud pin-up girl style that mixes prints and plaids Character Type: Pretty retro-inspired female designer who makes pretty dresses but lacks the self-confidence to be daring Resembles: Season 4’s Kit, Season 1’s Alexandra

13. Leanne Marshall, 27, from Portland, Oregon Summary: Soft spoken and geeky girl with emphasis on structure and pleating Character Type: Quiet, shy, bespeckled, somewhat awkward virtuoso with emphasis on clothing-as-architecture Resembles: Season 2’s Diana, Season 4’s Jillian, Season 3’s Uli

14. Emily Brandle, 27, from Sacramento, California Summary: Young, hot, and mean-looking hipster girl owns fledgling label Character Type: Vacuous but attractive woman who can be easily voted off without upsetting the home viewers Resembles: Season 1’s Starr

15. Daniel Feld, 25, from Great Barrington, Massachusetts Summary: Animal-loving, overly-polished and somewhat squirrelly looking man Character Type: Genteel and overdressed eccentric with affected voice and vampiric looks Resembles: Season 2’s Nick, Season 3’s Malan, Season 1’s Austin

16. Wesley Nault, 23, from Blackstone, Massachusetts  Summary: Precocious ingénue with background at Marc Jacobs is ready to break out on his own; has unique and flashily feminine way of dressing Character Type: Feminine boy genius with early promise at top design house seeks to strike out on his own Resembles: Season 4’s Christian, Season 2’s Daniel Vosovic

Since so much of this episode introduces us to the cast, we don’t have much time this week to deconstruct the episode, so here it is quickly:

The Gristedes challenge takes place in Manhattan grocery store Gristedes, taking us full circle from the first Project Runway challenge. In honor of the occasion, Bravo brought back Austin Scarlett, who won the challenge last season. Austin’s outfits always deserve a pause and a reflection: white fedora, white pants, double breasted navy blazer and white scarf. Black shoes without socks. It’s 90 degrees in the city, and yet he looks cool and breezy. Amazing.

As I watch the contestants dash about the grocery store, I can’t help but think that the energy is much better this year, and the atmosphere is much more exciting. Less self-conscious and self-referential. Once they get back to the studio, the energy continues. The dresses are much more avant garde and less boring than last seasons—more like the designers on Project Runway Canada. Though there is a lot of playing it safe—that’s a disappointment. Over 2/3 of the contestants grab tablecloths, and only one actually uses fresh produce. In the studio, everyone seems to be having a good time. Jerell does a surprisingly good Tim Gunn impression, and Kelli’s looks and constant joking make her look more than a little like Nicole Sullivan (that blonde chick from MadTv). And speaking of comparisons, Leanne Marshall looks a bit like Chan Marshall from Cat Power, huh?

I get annoyed when the models come in, and Blayne complains because his model has “more curves” than he had anticipated. So, your model barely has any curves at all, and this annoys you because you anticipated none? There is nothing that annoys me more than male designers who design for young male bodies and then get annoyed when they’re models display evidence of female puberty. How dare you have hips!

When it comes time to do the runway show, Heidi Klum stands before them like some sort of Barbarella-inspired dominatrix. Honestly, does Heidi Klum feel like we’ve been paying too much attention to her intellect, so she needs to remind us she’s also really really hot? For reals, how much shorter could her dress be?

Some of the innovations in the final dresses are amazing. Jerell’s Koosh ball sleeve was the best thing ever, and major points for Korto’s vegetable collar. Daniel’s plastic cup bodice defied science, and Terri’s crocheted mop-top looked like Proenza Schouler. Kenley’s ball-skirt looked fresh and modern and new—it’s so nice to see new fashion that looks, you know, new! Some of the dresses that disappointed me the most the judges didn’t call out. Blayne’s diaper tunic (which Heidi describes as being “butt-ugly”), Stella’s glorified trashbag gown, and Jerry’s CSI-meets-American-Psycho montage were all in the bottom three, but my gosh, where was Suede’s HIDEOUS tablecloth dress? It wasn’t innovative, it looked like a tablecloth, it was bulky. And as much as I loved the use of real pasta, Joe’s spaghetti dress was painfully hideous on top.

Ultimately Kelli won, as her dress had a lot of wonderful innovations, including notebook rings she turned into eyelet hooks. Poor Joe was voted off, even though Suede or Blayne totally deserved it too. Either way, this week was much more enjoyable to watch than either of the last 2 season’s premiers. Let’s hope the series can keep up the momentum.