Project Runway- Episode 4: Ohno for the gold

Mary Jones | August 6, 2008

Last Week: Inspiration challenge: New York City after dark. Kenley won with her Miami-lawn-chair print dress, and Emily was voted off for her Bonfire-of-the-Vanities ruffle.

This week: The designers go on another field trip; this time to the Armory Track and Field Center. On the way there, Blayne complains that he can’t feed his tanorexia addiction on “Project Runway.” I don’t think anyone feels too bad for him. The challenge is to create a look for the opening games ceremony of the 2008 Olympics. Gold medal speed skater Apolo Ohno is the guest judge, which seems as much of an odd choice as last week’s Sandra Bernhard. I’m a bit terrified as to how the contestants are going to present their image of America to the world. I hope somehow guns are involved. The designers are allowed to go through the Armory museum and see old photos and costumes for inspiration before heading off to mood. Surprise, surprise, Stella is going for leather. I’m more into Kenley’s blue plaid myself.

The designers compare secret sports’ pasts as if ashamed, apologizing for being in football or gymnastics. Joe is doing a skort, which I think represents America the best: let’s take something formal (skirt) and cut corners so it looks nice, but really it’s cheap, and a bit lazy. I had a heart attack when Blayne had his Beatles moment, which I’m sure will go down in infamy. Here’s a transcript:

Tim: It’s looking a little Sgt. Pepper to me.

Blayne: I don’t even know what that is.

Tim: Oh, youth! “Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Heart’s Club Band”. The Beatles.

Blayne: Well that’s the era Tim, with the cardigan.

Tim: The Beatles didn’t happen in the Thirties!

Everyone’s being their usual Project Runway drama self: fighting over machines, making fun of people’s laughs, etc. But despite the nonsense, the runway beckons, and soon it’s time for the judges:

1) Korto

White wide-legged pants and white vest with red shoulders

2) Suede

Navy party skirt with red trim, white tank

3) Kelli

Blue A-line skirt with white detail, red and white polka-dotted blouse with front tie

4) Joe

White skort with white jacket, red and blue detail

5) Leanne

White shorts and white button top with dramatic red white and blue collar

6) Daniel

Bluish purple and red trim cocktail dress with red buttons

7) Jerell

Navy pencil skirt with pin stripes, redish blouse with gathered sleeves, polka-dot tie with matching hat

Stella

Black jumpsuit with red, silver, and plue bands on shoulder caps and belt

9) Keith

Striped organza bubble skirt with white shell top and navy-and-red scarf

10) Terri

White tuxedo pants, blue blazer, red, white, and blue tube top

11) Jennifer

Gold and white striped skirt, white blouse, navy cardigan

12) Blayne

White asymmetrical top with red and blue stripes, white pants

13) Kenley

Blue plaid high-waisted pencil skirt with white blouse

My favorite—for the second week in a row—was obviously Leanne. Her garment was the only one that seemed modern to me, that wasn’t some sort of retro-inspired failure. I’m shocked that she’s been snubbed again. If this happens again I’m calling shenanigans.

The 6 left on the runway are the highs, represented in Terri, Joe (WTF?), and Korto; and the lows as shown by Jennifer, Daniel, and Jerell. Daniel was practically in tears when Michael Kors asked if his dress was from “the Republic of Cocktail Land”. Nina called Jennifer’s dress “girly” and “silly,” and Jerell’s dress was clearly a costume, and had absolutely nothing to do with either sports, or with Olympics.