Table For 12: Premier

Table For 12
Monday, 10pm TLC

As the oldest of 5 children, I have a lot of sympathy for big families. I always got the feeling that a certain class of Americans really look down on families with lots of children, as if they’re animals who can’t stop breeding, or fundamentalists who can’t read a birth control packet. In my experience, big families are usually some of the best adjusted families, because the parents have a measure of selflessness and dedication you don’t always see in smaller families.

TLC has, for whatever reason, taken it upon itself to champion the large family.  Table for 12 is the newest of their full-house programming which includes Jon & Kate Plus 8 and 18 Kids and Counting. Table For 12 isn’t necessarily breaking a lot of new ground—essentially, it’s a series of specials chronicling the lives of Eric and Betty Hayes. The premise? This Marlboro, New Jersey cop and his stay-at-home wife have a lot of kids. Two sets of twins (Kevin and Kyle, age 12; Kieran and Meghan, age 10) and one set of sextuplets (Tara, Rachel, Ryan, Connor, EJ, and Rebecca, age 4). One of their youngest has cerebral palsy. Like TLC’s other big families, they share a deep faith (the Hayes’ are Catholic), they are often stressed, and they have tried in-vitro treatments.

In-vitro is a hot button issue in a post-Octomom world, and the Hayes family will probably take their share of criticism for it. After all, they already had 4 kids when they attempted “for just one more girl”—even though the mother had a history of multiple pregnancies. The family subsists largely on community charity and on-line donations, as Eric’s policeman-salary isn’t exactly robust.

Unlike, say John and Kate and their 8, however, The Hayes are enormously grateful for the charity they receive, and they never seem resentful of the time and money they sacrifice to raise such a large family. In last night’s premier, Eric buys Betty a spa day. She is embarrassed to waste money on herself, and so she uses the opportunity to bond with her oldest daughter, letting her daughter take the massage and facial, while she is content simply to get her nails done. She comments as her nails are being polished that she prefers night at home with her family rather than this sort of fluff. You can tell the spa women are annoyed by her dismissive attitude, but it’s an attitude I see a lot in good moms, and it was one of the truest things I’ve seen on TV in a while.

Perhaps that’s why I wasn’t as addicted to Table for 12 as I am to other reality shows. The sheer rational way the Hayes deal with problems, their humble attitude, their genuine love for their family…it seems so real that there isn’t a lot of impetus for me to keep watching. It isn’t like Jon & Kate, where you watch to see a passive-aggressive man fight with his overbearing wife. It isn’t like 18 and Counting… where the sheer size of the family is mind-boggling. No, the Hayes’ seem normal and likable and happy, which make them seem out of place in reality TV. It isn’t crazy enough that you’ll be thankful for your own simple life, nor is it inspiring enough to make you cry, a la Extreme Makeover. It does, however, have the distinction of being the most normal show on TV. And in that sense, maybe it’s good to keep around—like a control group for the escalating levels of crazy you see on other shows.

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