Daisy of Love Premier

Daisy of Love
Sunday 9pm VH1

I had the misfortune of growing up in an area where girls had pretty good self-esteem, so the whole mindset of “self-worth-through-sex” is pretty new to me. That’s part of why I loved Rock of Love. Like a visitor at a zoo, I sit on one side of the glass and watch as creatures shriek, beat each other, and mount each other. Bret Michaels’ love interests are about as real to me as a komodo dragon, but twice the fun.

So imagine my thrill when I heard Daisy of Love was coming out. The most avatar-like member of the Rock of Love harem, Daisy de la Hoya emerged all candy floss blonde hair and gloppy eye makeup with some of the most insane cleavage I’ve ever seen. She spoke like a drunk, stumbled like a druggie, and fought like a back-alley cat. So it made sense that the men who would want a relationship with her would equally alien to me as their female Rock of Love counterparts. I looked forward to the education.

It became clear, however, during last night’s premier, that Daisy doesn’t have Bret’s ability to comfortably roost over a harem of hot would-be partners. She is visibly uncomfortable being surrounded by a back of hormonal men, and comes across as more shrinking violet than empowered feminist. In fact, with her opening Pussycat-dolls-esque performance, omnipresent sexy pics, and shrunken clothing, Daisy seems to be wooing the men, rather then the men wooing her.

Which is a shame, because it makes the show a little less fun. We want Daisy to have Bret Michael’s confidence, his circus-like ability to tame the women into jumping through derogatory activities willingly. But her lack of callousness doesn’t hurt the show too much—the guys fight, pass out, prank each other, and engage in enough horrible activities to make the show worthwhile. It’s like a veritable who’s-who of douche bags.

I will say that Daisy’s legitimate wish to find love causes her to do silly things. Her first dismissal is a group of teenage-looking Swedish triplets that look like they were a) starving and b) from a Guns n’ Roses video. I’m sorry, but turning down Swedish triplets is like spitting in God’s face. I also couldn’t believe her decision to keep in Weasel. Remember the cameraman in Wayne’s World? The one that had to count down “5…4…3…2…1” in front of the camera, with a mess of brown hair and a perpetually high look? Well, he’s now reincarnated on Daisy of Love. Not cool,, Daisy, not cool.

Overall though, Daisy of Love is what you want it to be: dirty, sexy, loud, and boozy. And who can ask for more than that?

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