Reality Roll Call

Last week on Project Runway: The designers created outfits for drag queens; Daniel gets voted off for his Miami train wreck, and Joe’s hideous sailor suit.

This week, the designers head onto the roof of a parking garage, discovering a bevy of Saturn hybrids (which is the car sponsor of Project Runway, in case you didn’t know). Since Saturns are made out of recycled materials (or a majority thereof), the designers are asked to use recycled materials. Stella displays the first bit of awesomeness all season by refusing to run around: “How embarrassing!”

Back at the studio the designers are given a few minutes to plan their dresses; everyone is throwing down carburetors and smashing mirrors, so I have high hopes. Stella decides to do something pretty instead of her usual biker thing. Keith is freaking me out with his insecurity. He’s so needy! I can’t stand it. “Don’t ask my opinion; my taste is questionable.” I’m beginning to hope he’s voted off.

Last week’s episode—the Brooke Shield’s lazily promotes her new show episode—saw the release of homegirl Kelli and the triumph of GayMormonKeith. I agreed with none of the decisions, and am hoping tonight, maybe, we’ll have better luck

I’m glad that the guys in the apartment are ripping on Keith’s win. Jerell’s design was so much more interesting and sophisticated. But who can think of interesting and sophisticated when this week’s special guest Chris March (season 4) is revealed. Sashaying out in a Viking helmet and a disco ball dress, Chris announces the challenge: design a dress for a drag queen. Then a wonderful procession of drag queens come out onto the runway, representing every possible corner of the subculture. The designers have to design for their clients as Chris and Heidi walk out for pretzels and beer. No, really.

…because these outfits are hideous.

Last Week: Korto won the Olympic-inspired challenge, and Jennifer’s “surrealistic” take on Anthropologie was sent home

This week is a team challenge, which is a sure fire way to create drama. The challenge is designing a “power bitch” suit for her to wear on the next season of “Lipstick Jungle.” Blayne chooses Leanne, Keith chooses Kenley, Terri and Suede are a team, Korto chooses Joe, Kelli chooses Daniel, Jerell and Stella.

After the trip to mood, the boys are whining, especially Suede, who doesn’t like the outfit and has concerns. Partner Terri is having none of it, and responds with my single favorite Project Runway confessional of all time: “Suede needs to man up. I ain’t got no babies, there ain’t nobody suckin’ on my titties.” Daniel has a wounded boy look when Kelli asks him to resew the skirt he butchered. It’s like a delightful gender stereotype. In reverse.

Just a reminder to let everyone know that Brooke Shields is a guest judge on tonight’s Project Runway on Bravo. And don’t forget to come back here to  read Mary Jones’ recap tonight:

Last Week: Inspiration challenge: New York City after dark. Kenley won with her Miami-lawn-chair print dress, and Emily was voted off for her Bonfire-of-the-Vanities ruffle.

This week: The designers go on another field trip; this time to the Armory Track and Field Center. On the way there, Blayne complains that he can’t feed his tanorexia addiction on “Project Runway.” I don’t think anyone feels too bad for him. The challenge is to create a look for the opening games ceremony of the 2008 Olympics. Gold medal speed skater Apolo Ohno is the guest judge, which seems as much of an odd choice as last week’s Sandra Bernhard. I’m a bit terrified as to how the contestants are going to present their image of America to the world. I hope somehow guns are involved. The designers are allowed to go through the Armory museum and see old photos and costumes for inspiration before heading off to mood. Surprise, surprise, Stella is going for leather. I’m more into Kenley’s blue plaid myself.

Last week on Project Runway:

Natalie Portman and the “green” challenge with organic fabric; Suede ended up winning for his punk ballerina dress, and Wesley was sent home despite his amazing shorts.

This week:

So I totally read that Daniel has hooked up with the now-auffed Wesley, which kind of makes me wish Wesley had lasted longer so I could watch the sexual tension.

The challenge isn’t announced right away; the designers are promised a night out with Tim to “unwind.” And if Top Chef Project Runway has taught me anything, a night out on the town is usually code for “surprise challenge.” It’s raining and everyone is in ponchos, and rather than take them to a park or a club, Tim loads the miserable herd onto a double-decker bus. The challenge is to design a look inspired by New York at night, so Tim plays guide to a sort of Magical Mystery Tour. Only rather than a bus full of joyful Liverpool musicians, everyone on this bus is wet and cold and not all that happy to be there.

On this week’s episode of  Bravo’s Project Runway, Tim Gunn takes the contestants out in the rainy streets of Manhattan at night for their assignment. You can’t really tell what he has in mind for them in this clip, but it does end with that age-old reality show saying: “I’m not here to make friends.”

Be sure to catch Project Runway on Wednesday at 10PM, then come back to Reality Roll Call and read the weekly recap.

Last Week: Gristedes challenge: making clothing out of grocery store materials. Jerry got voted off for creating “serial killer chic,” and Kelli won for her coffee-filter-and-vacuum-bag party dress.

This week Project Runway is cashing in on the eco-friendly bandwagon. I swear, if I hear the word “green” one more time I’m going to freak out—every other ad I see on tv is for green products, every Oprah episode is on green lifestyles. I’m over it.

But clearly Heidi Klum et al isn’t over it, so this week they had a challenge where the designers could only use organic, or otherwise “green” fabrics for their designs. The designers get to choose which model they want, only after they choose, the twist is revealed: the models are going to be the clients for a cocktail dress challenge. Not only that, the models get to go out shopping for materials. Crazy! See, it’s crazy because models are stupid.

The distaste of Project Runway 4 was pretty strong for me. None of the designers seemed to produce anything NEW—everything was “inspired by” or “an homage” or “influenced by,” and all of it was bland and boring. But my interest in the series was revived upon watching the immaculate Iman as she hosted Project Runway Canada, so I tuned in tonight to the premier of Bravo’s Season 5 hoping to see if some of the Canuck talent had trickled down south. In many ways, this season is shaping up to be much, much better than last season—and not because it opens with designer Jerell walking down a Manhattan street with little more than a fedora and a toned sixpack. I’m glad to see Project Runway is giving the people (women, gays) what they want.

Project Runway is looking for a new producer, and reality show producer Bunim-Murray is at the top of a short list of prospects.

The fashion reality show, which will be moving from Bravo to Lifetime, has lost their current producer. Magical Elves will not be making the move to Lifetime due to project commitments stemming from a recently signed deal with NBC Universal.

Bunim-Murray, best known as the producers of the MTV reality dinosaur, The Real World, is also the producer of Keeping Up With the Kardashians, the dull Living Lohan, and the rediculously drama-filled Bad Girls Club, and America’s Psychic Challenge (no comment). On a much more commendable note, they also produced the groundbreaking Autism: The Musical for HBO.

I’m getting the feeling that lovers of the old, New York-based Runway should be very, very afraid.