I Love New York Reunion 2 Special Recap

by Deb Porter-Jones

These are some of the highlights of the reunion show, in case you missed it:

New York comes with overblown boobs, high plastic boots and the weave was tight! What a classy bee-otch our girl New York is!

IT

Tonight, we delved into some of the intricacies of the television personality known as IT.

IT gives a demonstration of how he is more equipped to protect New York than Tailor Made could ever be. He proceeds to demonstrate his strength by breaking bricks over a cinder block with his bare hands. IT then brings New York some cold-ass fries, wrapped in a pretty, ornate box. You may recall one of the reasons IT went home was because he said he couldn’t be in love with someone that he hadn’t eaten chicken wings with in front of the projects. Of course, New York throws the fries in his face. “How dare he bring Miss New York some cold-ass fries!”

Sister Patterson

Sister Patterson begins by reviewing the gentlemen who were chosen as “Mama’s Boys”, many of which ended up making it to the final four with New York. However, one of the Mama’s Boys, Champion, a former NFL player, was the first of the guys to get booted out by New York. You may recall, New York’s problem with Champion was that he seemed to be a little too enamored with Sister Patterson for New York’s liking.

Suffice it to say that although, “Champion didn’t stay in the house, he made it.” Sister Patterson dropped the bombshell that New York’s father was the past and Champion is her future. They kiss passionately, while New York is of course, predictably incensed and humiliated. I smell a set-up, guys; sorry, I don’t buy it. Champion wants them to be a happy family. I’d love to be a fly on the wall at Thanksgiving in the Patterson household.

Midget Mac

Midget Mac talks about how Sister Patterson reacted to his appearance. Sister Patterson says that she was shocked by him and she still wouldn’t want him in her house – but hey, they’re still friends!

Wolf

Wolf is forced to “put his money where his d*** is,” and prove his claim to be well-endowed. He and Sister Patterson go behind the performance area and he gives a rather brief striptease. Of course, Sister Patterson is none too impressed and claims not to have seen anything. Was it too small, or better yet, was it scared to come out? Could you blame it? Would you show your face to Sister Patterson? The poor thing probably suffered from shrinkage when it saw her face!

Entertainer

Entertainer’s still living with his parents in a 10 x 8 basement bedroom in a twin bed. A camera crew goes out to their house, where we get a real sense of just how much of a loser Entertainer (Frank) really is. He appears to have no job, no prospects, no ambition and no clue when he’s getting out of the basement!

Entertainer’s parents are also in the audience and of course they get into another screaming match with Sister Patterson and New York over who’s more disrespectful. I love Entertainer’s mom – she’s doesn’t fear The Devil.

Punk and Buddha

Punk and Buddha talked about how they both felt like they were getting played by New York, especially when she told them both that she loved them and then sent them home.

The most interesting part of this exchange included Pretty, who actually wasn’t even sent home by New York. Pretty chose to go home when he was caught in a lie about whether his family had ever met anyone he’s dated. His sexuality was questioned and he left in a huff. Pretty mentioned that he was upset about the way that Punk and Buddha pretended to be his friends in the house. Until he saw the episode when he left and saw that Punk mentioned he appeared to have something to hide and maybe he should go home. Regardless, nothing really came of this exchange and I wonder why the question regarding his sexuality was never explored. That would’ve definitely made things much more interesting.

Tailor Made

It’s clear that Tailor Made is hated by everyone in the house, namely Wise. Mr. Wise, you will recall, is the guy who was spat on by Tailor Made. Wise finally gets it off his chest how much he abhors Tailor and why he didn’t whup Tailor’s ass when he decided to spit on him in the house (he’d come a long way to get where he was and wasn’t about to let the likes of Tailor Made get him sent home). Before it’s all over, Mr. Wise even manages a sneak attack on Tailor Made. Before any damage can be done, he’s tackled by about 6 security guards and Tailor Made walks away with nary a scratch.

New York and Tailor Made announce that 3 days after the show wrapped, they moved in together. New York tells Tailor Made that he is more than she ever thought she would find. Tailor Made then presents New York with the papers finalizing his divorce. Now, they’re ready to start their life together. Then, he again presents New York with the engagement rock and this time she accepts! After all, she’s “a grown-ass woman” and sooo in love. Looks like there’ll be no need for I Love New York 3. The end of an era.

Now Casting for The Black Woman’s Guide to Marrying Well

This one is for all you women who don’t think that I Love New York’s Chance, Real, Buddha and The Entertainer are quite who you are looking for in Mr. Right. Casting calls are being held for The Black Woman’s Guide to Marrying Well. Here is the show’s premise:

“What does it take for an educated, beautiful, intelligent, well rounded, single black woman to find an equally captivating man? Why are there more of us in college and more of our black men in jail? Should we be dating interracially and who’s our option if we don’t? And, when we’re still in our 40s not married, who are our men marrying? This show chronicles the lives of young, gifted, professional black women who want to know the secrets to marrying well.”

Doesn’t quite sound like they are looking for another New York-type, huh?

From the casting website:

“We, at Clean Slate Films, will be casting our new reality television show, “The Black Woman’s Guide to Marrying Well!” If you are an African-American woman between the ages of 20 and 65, are single, professional, and want to know what it takes to a man of equal value who loves, appreciates, and intends to marry you, come to one of our castings in January and audition for the show. I will be posting casting dates and locations in the next posting. Be sure to come with your picture, resume, and story. Be prepared to go on camera to tell our producers why you should be one of 7 women trying to figure out how as an educated, ambitious, beautiful, talented black woman, you can MARRY WELL!!!!”

Auditions will be held in  Ft. Lauderdale, Little Rock, Baltimore, Hartford, Atlanta, LA, Dallas and Cincinnati January through March.

If you are interested and feel that you are qualified please go to the website. There is a podcast that they recommend prospective applications check out, as well as more information on how to apply.  This is one show that I am looking forward to.

I LOVE NEW YORK 2 Recap: 12-3-07

(by Deb Porter-Jones)

This week’s episode introduces us to the families of the remaining four guys.

New York invites the family members of these guys to the house, and I’m not sure if that was a mistake or not. Our girl New York is not exactly the poster child of the perfect daughter-in-law; not a lot of “home training” there. Remember when she disrespected Tango’s mother last season with the bad language and the disrespectful comments she made about her? Methinks she never learned THAT lesson!

Anyway, Punk’s Mom and sister clearly have no love for New York! They remind me of two crows on an electrical wire. It’s clear that Punk got all the looks in that family. Punk’s Mom questioned his judgment, and appeared to be crying over his decision to try and make New York his woman. She says it was a rash decision on his part.

Both Punk’s Mom and his sister seem to be less than impressed with the idea of his being there for the likes of New York! I think he’s probably one card short of a full deck if he comes from a background like that and longs for a future with New York and Sister Patterson (classy be-otches that they be!!)

Tailor Made’s dad is a classy, quiet man; clearly, the “deep pockets” in the family. He’s quite the charmer and exactly what I expect Tailor Made to be like in about 40 years. He pays Sister Patterson several compliments (smart man). What a smooth guy.

Buddha’s Dad is a very handsome older man. He pulls no punches, and tells New York how beautiful she is. Then he says that all of her smoking takes away from her beauty. New York promptly tells us that she intends to put him in a home.

Entertainer’s parents seem to be the typical Italian family. Mom’s brash and outspoken (love her!) and Dad’s the quiet, muscular man. But they’re both clearly annoyed at their son’s residence in their basement.

New York and Sister Patterson take the families of Entertainer and Punk out to dinner. Entertainer visits the restroom, and while he’s gone the fur flies! His mother makes the mistake of asking Sister Patterson how she likes her son. Sister Patterson then begins to share her feelings of Entertainer. Says that she hopes he goes home.

Entertainer’s mom lets her know, in no uncertain terms, that it’s none of their business what happens with New York and Entertainer. Sister Patterson then begins to berate Entertainer’s mom, but if she thought she didn’t have a worthy opponent, boy, was she wrong! Entertainer’s mom calls her, “low-class trash” and a “transvestite”. She says Sister Patterson has “too much testosterone”. Sister Patterson tells her she has a beaver’s butt on her head. Actually, I like her hair, quite nice for an older lady; much better than the obvious wigs that Sister Patterson fancies. Maybe she’s so hostile because her head is so hot!

Meanwhile, Punk, his mom and sister watch impassively. Punk’s Mom and sister definitely want him outta there, and they want NO PARTS of New York and her twisted Mother! Punk clearly was not raised in a volatile household. His family life must have been rather quiet, sedate, and loving. His presence here is clearly confounding his family. They’re wondering what’s going on in his head; why on earth would he want to be around a woman and her mother who would clearly fit in more comfortable sitting on the right hand of Satan?!

The sparks fly again when New York and Sister Patterson return to the restaurant after leaving to catch a smoke. Sister Patterson begins openly flirting with Entertainer’s dad, saying that he’s so handsome, doesn’t his wife tell him often how handsome he is, yada, yada, yada. A bad idea on her part, because then Entertainer’s mom lays into her again.
(I love that Entertainer’s Mom didn’t back down – Sister Patterson has definitely met her match!) The date ends quietly and awkwardly when both parties agree to stop talking to make it through this date.

POOL DATE

The next day, the dads of Buddha and Tailor Made have a poolside date with Sister Patterson. Sister Patterson, who I think is clearly one of Satan’s minions, causes more sparks to fly with these two, which is interesting, considering Buddha and Tailor Made hate each other.

Sister Patterson tells Buddha’s dad about the fight from a few episodes ago between their two sons, and blows the entire incident out of proportion. She lies and says that Buddha opened Tailor Made’s head, with blood gushing everywhere. Buddha hears his character being totally maligned and confronts Sister Patterson.

New York does not defend Buddha, and actually fusses at him about confronting her! It was like a battle between good and evil. Sister Patterson was obviously the devil, and Buddha represented goodness. You almost feel sorry for Buddha; what an impossible position to be in! Buddha spends the rest of the episode upset with New York because she “threw him under the bus” and opted not to stand up to her mother.

New York then makes dinner herself (Huh? I don’t believe THAT for a second!), in an effort to show the families of these guys that she is more than “hair, makeup and nails”, she has a maternal side, too. (Yeah, right. She could keep MY kids any day – NOT!!).

Anyway, somebody made dinner and they sat down to eat, mostly in silence. Entertainer’s Mom opted to sit as far away from Satan Patterson as she could, which was a good move. Finally, they began to discuss Entertainer’s current living arrangements, in the basement of his parent’s house. Mom stated that she still does his laundry and cleans up after him. Entertainer does his best at damage control, but it’s really too late. Punk’s mom and sister are very quiet and don’t appear to offer any conversation at all. It’s clear that they don’t approve of New York, Satan Patterson or the possible addition of these two to their sedate and loving family.

The show ends with Entertainer, obviously, getting the boot. New York states that she’s going “straight to the top” and can’t have a man who is not up on his game at her side. Namely, a “loser” who still lives in his parents’ basement. We don’t know why Entertainer’s mom didn’t take this last opportunity to rip New Yok a new one; maybe she was just thankful that their baby boy was coming home and away from those skanks!

I LOVE NEW YORK 2 RECAP: 11/26/07

(by Deb Porter-Jones)

Heads up, folks. After last week’s episode, everything just seems to fall flat. No eye-opening discoveries, no one’s getting outted this time.

This week’s episode begins with New York reaching out to Buddha and trying to make sure that he’s forgiven her for the questionable behavior that she exhibited with Chance and Real during the last episode. Buddha does a less-than-convincing job of putting her mind at ease. He spends most of the episode playing this game – so tired. When he’s not playing hard to get, he’s discussing his acting career (scenes on Nip/Tuck and Hell Date).

But first things first: The guys and New York are sent to a psych technician/handwriting expert who gives them Rorschach (inkblot) tests and other tests that are meant to determine which guy is most compatible with New York

Punk sees a woman’s private area (so do we; it’s only logical). Mr. Wise’s pictures seem to indicate that he is emotionally unavailable. Punk, while muscular as all HELL, also has a sweet feminine side, which is rather attractive. He sees flowers and pretty women. Buddha thinks each picture is “really cool” and draws locks (on his heart) which indicate that he is a strong male with a strong side and, surprisingly enough, a feminine side. The tech confirms something I already knew: Tailor Made has a HUGE feminine side and is turned on by being dominated – surprised, anyone? (Not I, said the Little Red Hen. I always thought he should have been wearing the black leather and the dog collar, not Cheezy). Entertainer sees devils (in every picture, strange huh?) which shows that he has a huge narcissistic streak that rivals New York’s, which could present a problem. They both want to be the driver. Oh, and Entertainer is fine with being the stay-at-home dad. New York would love to have him be her bee-otch!

Punk apologizes to the doc for not dressing appropriately to which New York and the shrink does not complain. New York Strokes Punk’s chin and proclaims “I do like this one, Doc.” (Like he was a puppy in a pet store window!) Punk announces that he would rather his sensitivity be cherished that he be respected. This works out great because New York wants the absolute opposite!

It comes out that Buddha is a man’s man, wants to be respected and wants the woman to basically fall back. New York has a bit of a problem with that – why can’t SHE wear the pants and the bustier in the family?? (Methinks there may be the makings of a problem here.)

Anyway, because Entertainer’s narcissistic and happy drawings essentially mirror hers – New York and Entertainer get some alone time together. They have a lovely date and New York even manages to convince Entertainer to dance with the belly dancer at the restaurant. When they leave, they decide to prank the remaining guys and pretend that their date was a bust and as a result, he’s leaving. The guys also plan to prank Entertainer with evidence of more spirits running amok in the house. Both pranks fall flat.

New York gives Mr. Wise the boot (he’s emotionally unavailable, remember?) because he’s still got feelings for his ex-girlfriend Kia. Plus, Wise wouldn’t agree to cut Kia loose if he were to get together with New York because he “doesn’t believe in burning bridges.” He’s clearly a man who knows that this fantasy reality show thing is only temporary.

Somehow, Buddha is still able to last another week even after he is heard openly discussing his acting career with the other guys AND Tailor Made’s wife sees him on BET’s Hell Date. Does he have an agenda? Or is he really here for New York? We’ll see.

I Love New York 2 Recap 11/19/07

(by Deb Porter-Jones)

 BLASTS FROM THE PAST!!

New York invites the ex-girlfriends of the final 6: The Entertainer, Tailor Made, Pretty, Buddha, Punk, and Mr. Wise. Only, all of the guys don’t have girlfriends that come – Buddha and Pretty have their SISTERS show instead! (Red flags, anyone?)

New York separates the guys from their exes (or sisters) and interrogates the ladies with the help of Mom, Sister Patterson. Meanwhile, the guys are then taken into another interrogation room and questioned by no less than CHANCE and REAL!! These are two of the final few contestants from last season, when New York chose Tango (you remember, the guy who looked like Michealangelo from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles). Chance and Real (mostly Chance) pull NO punches and break these guys down to the nitty-gritty. Here’s a breakdown:

Tailor Made:

This guy’s just a nervous wreck regardless. Everyone intimidates Tailor Made: Buddha, New York, most assuredly Sister Patterson. For someone who’s supposed to be an accomplished and well-paid businessman, he doesn’t seem to be cool under fire at all. He’s been shaking like a leaf ever since Buddha head-butted him and made him see lightning a few weeks ago. Chance and Real both appear to see right through him and have him pegged for a ladies man who’s probably missing a screw. Tailor Made’s convinced that they both hate him (the guy’s got some self esteem issues, too).

While he’s being interrogated by Chance and Real, Tailor Made’s WIFE is being grilled by our girl NY and Sister Patterson. Tailor Made’s wife is not the most attractive, which is kind of surprising – if he likes to wear and experience the finer things in life, wouldn’t that extend to the girl on his arm as well? The wife is a little on the frumpy side, kinda plain, wouldn’t look twice if you passed her on the street.

She seems nice enough, but Tailor Made’s wife is definitely out to unload this guy – she almost begged New York to take him (“No, no, he’s available, we’re practically divorced. You’ll love him, he’s a great guy. Now where can I send his stuff?”). Yeah, she needs him to move on with his life, but quick.

Mr. Wise:

Mr. Wise’s girlfriend comes to dish on him to New York. There is a private conversation between the two of them while they’re waiting to be interrogated. Girlfriend hints that once New York gets a load of what he’s packing, it’s a wrap; show’s over. Thank goodness he was mature enough to keep that information to himself, unlike like Wolf, who knew he had absolutely nothing else to offer New York but his skills in the bedroom, or rather his equipment. Wise’s girlfriend is clearly still a girl in love who doesn’t appear to be “over” him.

Wise is interrogated by Chance and Real.

Apparently, Wise was “less than truthful” about his most recent contact with his ex, Kia. It’s obvious to both Chance and Real AND New York and Sister Patterson that these two still have feelings for each other. Also, it is discovered that they either spoke or saw each other a mere two weeks before Wise went to the house. A little suspicious, but NY thinks that Wise kept this information to himself because he still has feelings for Kia. Kia is obviously hurting because Wise has moved on, and we suspect that he has some feeling for her, too.

The Entertainer:

Chance and Real have a field day with The Entertainer! He’s kinda scary-looking (think Jack Nicholson from The Shining. Hope New York doesn’t go on a ski trip with him or anything. We may never see her again). Oh, and get this. Did you think The Entertainer was actually in the entertainment business? I thought maybe a magician – alright actually I was sure he WAS an entertainer – of the adult variety. But, Chance and Real grill Entertainer real good and get him to admit that he is actually a UPS delivery driver. Huh? (Maybe he delivers strip-o-grams in his uniform after hours – there’s gotta be some money in that).

Meanwhile, the Entertainer’s ex is spilling the beans on him and why they broke up in the first place. Try as she might, she just couldn’t develop an appreciation for a guy who lives in his parents’ basement.

Plus, he has (had?) anger issues, which just reinforces Sister Patterson’s belief from day one that Entertainer was psycho and “bottom of the barrel nasty”.

Punk:

Doesn’t it always seem like Punk is a little TOO self-conscious? Like he’s secretly trying to check himself out in the camera lens. Punk’s ex-girlfriend shows up to offer her assessment of him – but she really seems to be so NOT over him.

On several occasions, it looked as though she was doing her best to hold back tears and beg New York to throw him back. She looks like she puts in work at the gym, too. He probably threw her back because she wanted to work out in front of the mirror and was blocking his view – of himself!

Meanwhile, back at the ranch – Punk does not like being interrogated by a guy that New York clearly had strong feelings for. He can tolerate Real, but Chance definitely rubs him the wrong way. There is a bit of an altercation, and Punk turns over the table in the interrogation room (he’s so sexy when he’s angry, well, I think he’s angry. Somehow this guy can exhibit anger without looking too menacing. I don’t know he got the name Punk; he’s definitely the Pretty one). Punk feels disrespected

Buddha:

Buddha’s sister agrees that he definitely has a problem controlling his emotions, and apparently indicates to Sister Patterson and New York that he is potentially violent. Meanwhile, Buddha is having a lovely conversation with Chance and Real that fails to reveal any ground-breaking information. Surprising, because New York was initially suspicious of the fact that Buddha and Pretty could not produce an ex-girlfriend.

Pretty:

Pretty’s sister is questioned by New York and Sister Patterson regarding his sex life (has she walked in on home performing the act, has she seen him alone performing an act) questions that his sister is clearly not comfortable answering. The bombshell? Sis states that she has never met any of Pretty’s ex-girlfriends. It was bad enough that Pretty submitted his Sister rather than an ex-girlfriend.

At the same time, Pretty was being questioned by Chance and Real, and he totally contradicted what his sister said regarding his girlfriends meeting his sis and mom. He says that his sister and mom are very close to him and he ALWAYS takes them home. How many, you ask? Oh, more than ten girlfriends have met his mom and sis.

Well, I guess you know it’s on now!

After the guys’ interrogations, Chance and Real take New York out for dinner where they can compare notes. Chance and New York spend some time fussing and smooching (wait, wasn’t he last season, why is New York getting caught up with him?). At dinner, they manage to discover that there are some problems involving the truth for Wise and Pretty.

Back at the mixer with the exes and the guys, Sister Patterson makes an issue out of Chance kissing on New York and clearly expresses her disappointment. Buddha is also upset, so he calls Punk over to confront Chance and Real.

Chance first backpedals (I’m sure he wants no parts of Buddha and Punk, with his little self). Then, it’s vintage Chance. Punk says he’s like a little Chihuahua, lot of bark but no bite. That’s so true. He throws his drink and he and his brother jump in the car and speed off!

This chain of events really upsets New York – it seems like she didn’t want Chance to leave. She’s already heated and confronts Wise on his failure to let her know that he saw his ex two weeks before he came to “her” house. Wise decides to discuss the situation when she’s less upset.

New York then confronts Pretty about his out-and-out lie regarding bringing his girlfriends home to meet Mom and Sis. Pretty is clearly wanting a confrontation – he had previously discussed the possibility of one with Buddha and Punk because he thought his sister was upset about the conversation with New York. Originally, Buddha and Punk said that they had his back.

Well, at the mixer New York becomes heated because Pretty doesn’t want to discuss his lie about the girlfriends. He walks off after dropping a couple F bombs to New York and throwing a glass (a little femininely, too, I might add). This really upsets New York and she comes after him “to talk to him”. He wants no parts of her. I think he was just trying to get out of there before someone calls him out. Maybe the rumors about Pretty have some merit, maybe he’s on the Down Low. If so, it probably wasn’t the smartest thing to get on a popular, national reality show if you have a lot of secrets.

The show ends with New York apologizing to the remaining guys for her behavior with Chance and she asks the guys to give her another chance. Buddha is clearly not impressed early on, but then decides that she is sincere. We’ll see next episode!