Reality Roll Call

I can’t believe we’re only on episode 8 of this series. I could have sworn I’ve sat through over 20 episodes of brattiness and self-indulgence. Why doesn’t Dina Lohan just kill her children on camera and get it over with? It’d be faster than the death march she’s doing now. It’s like every episode is one more step on the Lohan family Trail of Tears.

The episode opens with Dina on the phone trying to find a new producer because, OH MY GOSH GUYS SHE WAS TOTALLY RIGHT that Jeremy’s song was just too much of a “guy’s song” for Ali. Instead of Jeremy, Ali decides she wants to do another track with a sketchy, child-molester type named “Eman” (Emanuel Kiriakou). Ali prefers him because he makes her feel “comfortable with herself, and with singing”, something Jeremy didn’t do. Right, because Jeremy didn’t kowtow to her pouting and mooning, something Kiddie “E-man” Porn clearly has no problem doing. E-man. WTF—is this 1994?