So You Think You Can Dance: July 3 Recap

by Lakiya Emerson

With seven couples remaining, the judges aren’t as forgiving of dancer’s ability (or inability) to capture styles outside of their own. The judges have hit the sonic overdrive button on their expectations. Tabitha and Napoleon D’Umo serve as guest judges tonight along with Simon Cowell. Simon was not actually on the panel, but Nigel was seriously channeling his musical partner’s surly snarkiness as he told more than one dancer that they needed to step up their game. There’s no opening choreography as each couple must dance two routines.

Jessica and Will open up the night with a jive, which is a 40s era African American style dance that had its roots in the jitterbug. You can Google it, but you’ve probably seen an abundance of stock footage of women being thrown up and then starting some footwork just as they land. It’s a fun style, and Will and Jessica play it well, though, once again, Will makes Jessica look like a wet noodle. Mary said they missed a lot of connections though they probably fooled a lot of people. Nigel says Will had great bounce. Jessica is told she isn’t up to par, and Nigel raises the specter of partners being switched. But, I’ll say what he didn’t—if it weren’t for being partnered with Will, Jessica would have kicked it a long time ago. But Jessica redeems herself in the second dance where they do some cool switching in and out of, flipping through, and waving one blue button down shirt. It starts off a bit dry, then becomes pretty big. Will is shirtless and at the end, Mary and Tabitha have a girlie moment over his body while Nigel asked the audience, “Who wants to dance with Will.” All the women and gay men of America stand up. Tabitha said Will has nice lines. Napoleon says that Will can fly to the top of the competition, and he points out that Jessica was holding Will down. I don’t think anyone could hold Will down, though he’s basically been carrying her throughout the competition, not because she can’t dance, but because she has little faith in her abilities. Mary called the performance “fire,” and she put them on the train. Nigel tells Jessica to stop worrying about herself and dance. Apparently they had a few meltdowns doing the week, but he told Jessica that the only thing that mattered was her performance during the night.

Comfort and Thayne are a new couple, but they have a lot of chemistry. They dance a routine from West Side Story, and they are believable enough to make me want to watch a great musical—one of the ones that were created before they became ubiquitous and phenomenally cheesy. Can I point out that one day, we’ll probably look back on today’s superhero movies with the same attitude? Tabitha, Napoleon, and Mary like their performance. Nigel was not pleased however, and took issue with their level of passion; meaning it wasn’t high enough. He said that if they’d attempted to perform their routine on Broadway, they would have been booed off the stage. Cat reminds America that their vote will determine who gets booed on this show. Comfort and Thayne’s next dance is a waltz set to some Irish-flute-sounding song. I don’t know much about waltzes, so I was a bit bored until they did a lift that made Comfort look like a pretty blue bird soaring sideways through the air. They definitely caught my attention at that point, but Tabitha wasn’t convinced. She said Thayne’s facial expressions were phony. Meanwhile, according to Mary and Nigel, Comfort has transformed from a caterpillar into a butterfly and waltzing queen, all because she took out her eyebrow piercing. At least that’s how Nigel put it. I suppose Comfort can join Clark Kent in the long line of individuals who can suddenly become spectacular by removing one accessory.

Kourtni and Matt do a hip hop routine first, and neither of them is confident. Matt mentions dusting off his solo routine. They just might have to. Their routine looks like one of those dances that the cheerleaders do at half time. Everyone’s excited because they’re dancing instead of cheering, but at the end of the day the performance is really bad. Napoleon says they were good, but if they’d been competing in a hip hop competition they wouldn’t make it very far (which is a nice way of saying they were bad). Mary basically said they she didn’t feel anything. Nigel asked for his boo upfront. Once the audience had satisfied its need to indicate its presence, Nigel said he wasn’t sure about the choreography or them. He called it hip hop on sleeping pills. Their hip hop debacle is followed by a samba. Tabitha says she’s hot and cold about them; I’m just cold. Mary says Kourtni was hot, but that together they had no chemistry. Nigel gives them a long list of technical critiques, to which, of course, the audience boos. I had to stop typing and stare at the screen in amazement when he tells the audience to stop booing. He said, “We’re trying to make people better here and if you don’t like it, then don’t come to the show.” Wow, Nigel, wow. That’s pretty gansta. It’s downright Cowellish, though I’ve never heard Simon tell people to stop coming. I’m sure someone in corporate just had a minor coronary.

The way things are looking right now, Adam Shankman may have been right when he said that Chelsea and Mark were the couple to beat. They were on point and dancing like professionals in their first performance. Tabitha points out that they have a great ability to convey a story line. Mary, after one of her annoying intros, said she loved it. Nigel said they know how to use each other. Their next routine is in ballroom and despite having a feather stuck in her mouth from her ridiculous outfit, Chelsea danced beautifully. Mary says they pulled it off, but Nigel said Mark looked uncomfortable. Mary attempts to defend Mark, but Nigel pulls another zinger from the Book of Simon 20:15, and says he really respects Mary’s opinion but that he wished she’d give it three decibels lower. Mary continues laughing, but become more and more deflated as she tries to figure out if this was a battle worth fighting. I’m sure it continued backstage, after the corporate exec with the coronary tells Nigel he’s suing him for the pain and suffering caused by fear of losing advertising dollars along with audience members.

Chelsea and Mark might be the couple to beat, but they’re not nearly as exciting, or light-hearted, or funny, as Twitchington. I’m sorry, I’m a sucker for a good laugh, and even in their corniest moments, I’m always excited to see Twitch and Kherington. Their first performance is flamenco. The costumes, which are complete with capes, are fabulous; and you can tell that the two of them were having crazy fun as the stomp around and flick the capes and look like their ready to stab the bull with a sword. Before I tell you what the judges thought, I want to take a brief moment to honor Twitch’s abs, for which there are too many words to describe and since I cannot decide on one, I’ll give you my stream of consciousness: Good gracious look at that. I need to wash my delicates. Do they still make mounds chocolates? …. I’ll spare you all the rest. Back to our regularly scheduled recap: Tabitha said that Twitch didn’t embrace his character until half way through, but that Kherington was great with the cape. Mary said the performance was just okay, but she was definitely entertained. Nigel says Twitch was wearing his shoulders like earrings and everyone agreed that Twitch didn’t come up to Kherington’s level. Twitch redeemed himself in this next number, which involved a propped up bed, roses and a number of spastic movements. It was a Mia Michaels choreography in which the two dancers are clearly trying to connect, but aren’t quite seeing eye-to-eye. So maybe Mia was trying to redeem herself after that whole smiling incident. Nigel says Twitch was committed to the dance, that the performance was believable and that he was thoroughly entertained. Twitchington gets added to his top couples list.

Kattee and Joshua have a Mia Micheals choreography first, and it is truly amazing. They are practically standing still, yet the slightest movements seem to make the biggest impression. It’s weird and phenomenal as they take two steps forward then two steps back; five steps forward and five steps back. There are more than a few hip hop moves and one movement where Joshua holds Katee while she appears to be running. It looks lie something out of Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon. Tabitha said they owned the stage while, Napoleon says they understand that a chorography is so much more than dancing. Mary says they haven’t missed one time. Nigel said it takes absolute concentration and strength to barely move and still convey an emotion, proving that they are one of the three or four couples who will make this season outstanding. In their next dance Joshua somehow reminds me of James Brown. All the judges are happy with their performance and Nigel points out that they have the ability to adapt to various styles

Courtney and Gev perform a hip hop routine or rather, Courtney dances hip hop while Gev does a few steps. I’d forgotten that hip hop was Gev’s style, but anyone who just started watching the show would have never known. Forget about the fact that the two of them were dancing in Timberlands, which have got to be the heaviest boots ever, but Chelsea out danced Gev hands down. The judges all point out that Courtney killed it and that Gev, who looked like he was thinking too hard, was disappointing. But what knocked me out was when Napoleon and Nigel voiced their differing opinions about Courtney’s level of ghettoness. Napoleon said she was ghetto with her moves and Nigel said she wasn’t. Never in my life would I have expected to hear anyone berate a white girl for not being ghetto enough. Times change. Their next, and final performance was a very convincing Broadway routine to New York, New York. Tabitha said she could see them dancing in the middle of rush hour traffic. Mary said they were dynamic and believable, and pointed out that they have yet to be in the bottom three. Nigel raises his snark count by saying they tend to slip under the radar, and that it might be because of their height. He finally points out that they used the stage well. Surprisingly there were no Fourth of July themes in tonight’s show. Maybe they’ll do so in the results episode, which will be airing Thursday. However, if you’re too inebriated to watch on Thursday night, come check us out on Reality Roll Call on Friday.

So You Think You Can Dance: The Best and Worst of Milwaukee

By Lakiya Emerson

The Milwaukee round is the final auditions in So You Think You Can Dance before Vegas. It opened with a hip hop montage that had Nigel giving comments such as, “hip hop isn’t a style it’s a culture.” It was like hearing Simon Cowell talk about the difference between rap and hip hop—totally unexpected.

Michael Kim was the first to audition. He popped and locked his way across the stage looking like a preying mantis. Michael, who had made it to the Vegas round last year but was kicked out because he couldn’t samba, will be returning to Vegas this year.

Next we had the proverbial, “we’re here to support” montage where friends and family are shown sitting with the contestant. It closes with Katee and Natalie, two roommates who have decided to support each other. Both of them make it to Vegas.

Janette and Romulo, a pair of Latin dancers, take the stage next and their series of lifts and drops were combined with some interesting tricks that included Janette bending backwards and Romulo lifting her up and down with his leg. However, Romulo, though he’s great for a trick or two, isn’t such a great dancer. He has to sit back while Janette goes off to Vegas.

They saved the crazy folks for after the commercial break. But first, a tapdancer named Bianca, performed to Earth Wind and Fire and then Moonwalked her way to Vegas.

She was followed by James, who has worked with four or five different choreographers over the course of the year and was fired up and ready to make it to the top twenty. At least that’s where his choreographers assured him he would go. I hope he didn’t pay them. His audition was Footloose on crack—seriously. Mary, with her trademark cackle-guffaw said, “I’m so sorry James, but no”. James tried to talk his way in. Unfortunately for him, this show isn’t So You Think You Can Speak.

Evan gave us a Gene Kelly-inspired set, punctuated by a powerful leap with hyperextension—not too many males hyperextend. All he needed was two counters and some ripped jeans and he’d be channeling Jean Claude VanDamme.

I’m not quite sure what a contestant named Victor was trying to do. He said his performance was all about the conflict between individuality and society. He was dressed like the Pied Piper of Individuality. In fact, I think I might have seen him trapped in my closet.

Chavis clearly loved toe touches. All he needed was a ribbon and a couple of backflips and he would have been doing a bad gymnastic routine. He received 2 stars and no ticket.

Kourtni was a dancer whose mother had been her dance instructor for 15 years. And this mother was no Dina Lohan, because Kourtni, who is almost a dead ringer for Uma Thurman, was amazing. She’s going to Vegas, and Nigel suggested that she could be the lead in Kill Bill the ballet. I agree.

Tom raises goats. They may have been his choreographers. That would explain why kept randomly falling on the floor.

Shelly made it to the choreography round on the strength of her personality and her booty shaking skills. Nigel was highly impressed, but she didn’t make it to Vegas

Susie was a Miami high school teacher who could be a stand-in for the Pussycat Dolls. Nigel called her a bootleg Shakira, but she made it through to the choreography round on the strength of her sexiness. Somehow she pulls it together to get a golden ticket.

Rebecca from Fresno had actually auditioned in Las Vegas two weeks before, but the judges weren’t too excited by her “competition” style of dancing—one too many spirit fingers and she looked like she had Vaseline on her teeth. So Rebecca toned her performance down and re-auditioned in Milwaukee. They love her new style and she makes it to Las Vegas

Have you ever listened to people who are clearly speaking English, but you’re still unable to understand them? That’s how I felt during Brice and hostess Cat Deeley’s interview. Brice, who is from Cameroon, had an abundance of personality…until he started dancing. His dance skills got him to the choreography round, but the judges weren’t too excited about his performance and he didn’t make it to Vegas

A dancer named Cooper opened up hour two of SYTCD. Nigel compared him to Tyce and then promptly sent him to Vegas.

Cooper was followed by friends, Yousenia and Phillip who both auditioned last year. She had made it to the fourth round before being kicked off, but she was inspired by the experience to go home and lose fifty pounds. She looked really great, but during her audition her knee gave out. She proceeded to let loose the ugly cry—you know, the one where your face scrunches up and your words run together? When she got herself together, she gave a very inspirational speech about how SYTCD encouraged her to change her life. I’m rooting for her to come back next year.

Yessenia’s friend Phillip danced phenomenally and then cried over her. He didn’t cry for too long since the judges sent him to Vegas.

Next, Nigel had a Tyra moment.

Raymond, who happens to be a minister and choreographer, performed with a gorgeous girl who was a stand-in. But from the way Raymond was dancing, you’d think it was the other way around. Nigel actually stopped Raymond and told him that he looked like he was dancing with a piece of meat. Nigel says, “I’d like to believe you actually give a sh*t about her.” Raymond is allowed to start over. Unfortunately, Raymond appears to be the Mariah Carey of dance: great choreographer, boring performer. After the second part of his audition, Raymond cries, and is more passionate in defending the meaning of the choreography than he was about dancing it. But he does make it to the choreography round, which does not end well for him.

Raymond was followed by Hau, who was dressed like a Village People aborigine of some sort. He danced—I think. He might have been putting a hex on the stage. I was confused. I think the judges were too.

Lizz tap-danced in the oldest pair of tap shoes I’ve ever seen. They were even duct-taped, but they must be lucky because she made it straight to Vegas.

In the end, 22 Milwaukee dancers will be joining the roughly 200 in Vegas to compete for the top 20 spots in tomorrow’s show.