Reality Roll Call

by Mary Jones

This week, Living Lohan finally brings us an episode that has the potential to make some sort of social statement, to actually document something more substantial than where Lindsay Lohan’s mother gets her nails done. Fourteen is a hellish age—everyone knows this. But girls know it more than anyone. Having attended an all-girl school in Dallas when I was Ali Lohan’s age, I can report first hand that any female who survives 7^th and 8^th grade without major life-long neuroses is a true champion. While boys beat up on each other and terrorize physically, fourteen year old girls are running their own little Abu Ghraibs with various forms of psychological torture that would make the CIA balk.

by Mary Jones

There’s a scene in Lindsay Lohan’s “Mean Girls” where Cady is talking to Regina’s mother (Amy Poehler), who proclaims “I’m not a regular mom, I’m a cool mom as her dog gnaws on her hard breast implants and her five-year-old daughter pulls up her shirt to a “Girls Gone Wild” commercial. So when I see Lindsay’s real-life mom Dina “White Oprah” Lohan in tabloids going from club to club, partying with her daughter, acting as a bratty momager, wearing as much makeup (and practically the same clothes) as her 14-year-old daughter Ali, it’s a bit uncomfortable. Especially since the purpose of her new reality series “Living Lohan” is to show how fabulous Dina is, how busy and admired and hated on. She isn’t a regular mom, she’s a cool mom! And if you’re going to drink, she’s rather you’d do it in the house.