Did ABC get more than they bargained for with the Fowler/Stephens Swap?

Our thanks to guest blogger Elizabeth Prata:

Stephen Fowler will live in Wife Swap infamy as the most boorish and abusive of husbands ever to host a swapped wife. The day after this infamous episode the internet is howling. Why? Let me count the ways.

 Liberal, upper crust, environmentally conscious, highly educated, weight appropriate San Franciscans were to swap wives with the Missouri small town ATV riding, paintball playing, overweight Middle Americans in the January 30th episode. The show in and of itself pairs couples that hold diametrically opposing views on just about everything from religion to politics to fish sticks; a recipe for conflict and emotional challenge in any situation. Nothing new there. However, the pairing on January 30^th for the first time, added abuse to the mix. And that crossed line has gotten the audience into a stark raving tizzy.

 Regular watchers know that most husbands on the show hold dearly to their viewpoints. Occasionally they are bombastic about it, but usually the audience member by the show’s conclusion is treated to a release, in that each pair learned something and all’s well that ends well.

 In the case of the Fowler-Long swap, husband Stephen Fowler, a Briton, immediately trumpeted his education and intelligence as a license to demean all others he estimates as below him. “I never answer a question that has been asked of me twice.” And to him, just about everyone is below him. He bragged about his wealth, his degrees, his position in the world, his maid, his trophy children. And that was just the intro.

When Gayla Long arrived she was respectful and eager, at least as far as one could tell from the editing. However almost immediately Mr Fowler called her obese and uneducated, which shortly devolved into just calling her fat and stupid and mercilessly mocked her vocabulary. “Oh, you used the word agenda, that’s a big word for you,” Mr Fowler said at one point in front of his children. In another moment, he pointed to Mrs. Long and said to his children, “This is what happens if you don’t get your education.” Humiliated, Mrs. Long cried in the back yard, yet Mr. Fowler continued his attacks. Worse, he looked like he enjoyed them. The verbal abuse continued throughout the show, but Mrs. Long was restrained and to her credit kept trying to reach him, mostly for his children’s sakes.

 When it came time for Mrs. Long to lay down her rules, Mr.  Fowler reared up and exhibited even more deliberate cruelty than ever before seen on the five year history of the show. But wait, there’s more.

 Mr Fowler stopped the taping. He insisted on a meeting with the producers because he deemed Mrs. Long’s rules unnecessary and as a result refused to go along with them. The show had never seen participant out and out renege on their show obligations, but there you have it. Subsequently, Mr Fowler then ordered his children not to talk with Mrs Long, and to ignore her completely. They would pass her in the hall and never look back as she tried to covnerse with them. Mr Fowler did the same, at one point ordering her out of his room and slamming the door in her face as she was talking. Crushed, she packed and went to a hotel. It must have been a long, lonely night for her.

 Mr Fowler’s derision of our military, of small-town America, of those with a different educational path, of overweight people, were all grating in the extreme and were enough in themselves to galvanize an audience to ire. Mr Fowler’s intentionally negative and cruel focus on Mrs Long’s weight is an ultimate irony: Mr Fowler’s own wife is a weight coach for obese people and is associated with Weight Watchers.

 There has not been a person so cruel, so pompous, so arrogant, so infuriating on Wife Swap in its five-year history. Still, why the severe outrage?

 A moral line has been crossed. A show participant was needlessly and constantly cruel. There was no intervention from show producers. Other show participants have had their displays of temper but there is an enormous difference between being challenged to stretch your worldview and becoming irritated because of it, and what happened on the Fowler-Long episode. Mrs Long was purposely debased, Mr Fowler reneged on his obligations, and yet ABC continued with the pairing. Allowing cruelty for the sake of ratings is unconscionable, and the ABC audience viewing the mess that was last night’s episode is heartbroken and outraged over it.

Elizabeth Prata is a writer living in Georgia. She is the author of  “The Quiet Life” blog.

Wife Swap’s Stephen Fowler Threatens to Sue Reality Roll Call

First of all, I have to say that I didn’t see Wife Swap last night, but I wish I had. Apparently, this guy is real tool because we have never gotten so many hits in such a short time on one post. EVER.

Anyway, Stephen Fowler sent me an email sometime this morning, threatening to sue us if we don’t remove his address from the site. Here’s what he wrote:

Your website lists my home address.  We have already received threats as a result of this.  If you do not remove this immediately, I will sue forthwith.

Please confirm by return or you will hear from attorney.

***********************

Stephen Fowler

I don’t know where you all got his home address, but clearly it is public record. So you’re gonna have to get that information somewhere else, because we can’t let you post it. Not because of his threat, but because it is just not the policy of Reality Roll Call to divulge personal addresses of anyone.  Besides, you all know where to get it if you want it.

Don’t stoop down to his level by going to his house, and being the ass that you all think he is. You are always free to comment on any person on any show. That’s one of the reason’s RealityRollCall.com is here. But I don’t want you guys to get in trouble for taking it too far.

Your email:

 

The Long Family meets the Stephens-Fowler clan on Wife Swap

“Long/Stephens-Fowler” A mid-western family whose lives revolve around the “American Way” of fast food, 4X4s and paintball, swaps lives with a big city family focused on education, the environment and keeping their bodies healthy and trim, on “Wife Swap,” TONIGHT (8:00-9:00 p.m., ET) on  ABC .

The Longs from Missouri are a patriotic, all-American family who live for paint ball. Wife Gayla (37) is just one of the boys on the paint ball field, but at home she is happy to take care of all the household chores, which husband Alan has deemed “skirt work.” When Alan (38) is not wreaking havoc with his four wild and crazy boys — Cody (15), Coltan (10), Clayton (8) and Cameron (4) — he serves as the mayor of their 55-person town. The Longs are proud of their Midwestern roots and consider their lifestyle the “American way.” Corn dogs and fast food are staples in their home, and their exercise comes from riding ATVs. Alan and Gayla want their kids to have fun; education and the environment can take a backseat.

Meanwhile, the Stephens-Fowler family from Northern California consider themselves “citizens of the world.” They strive for excellence in both mind and body. Life coach and certified weight-loss hypnotherapist Rene (43) and British-born environmental entrepreneur Stephen (49) raise their children, Juliette (11) and James (8), to be both health and environmentally conscious. With a diet of strictly organic food and weekends spent doing “family fitness activities,” the kids admit they can’t remember the last time they had a French fry. Domestics are taken care of by a housekeeper, as that is regarded as a necessity in the Stephens-Fowler set. In order to ensure acceptance to an Ivy League school, they push their kids to excel in highbrow activities such as music, fencing and speaking foreign languages. Both children attend a bilingual school and have already visited over 12 countries.

In the first week, Gayla Long leaves the heartland behind for life in the city. As a mom who works nights to spend her days with her boys, she is surprised Rene would spend her time on the treadmill while Stephen gets the kids off to school. With so much focus on education and hours of homework every night, she questions whether Juliette and James have any time for fun. Meanwhile, in the Long home, Rene attempts to use the washing machine, but fails to live up to Alan’s expectations of “skirt work.” She grows worried that the family’s lack of exercise, combined with their “meat and potatoes” diet, are having a negative effect on the family’s health.

In the second week of the swap, when the wives change the rules and turn the tables, Gayla attempts to bring some family-friendly excitement into the Stephens-Fowler home by introducing them to paintball and go-karts. Gayla’s rule changes lead to a dramatic standoff between her and Stephen. In the meantime, Rene strives to teach the Longs about cutting down on fossil fuels and calories. She locks up the ATVs and exposes the family to hiking and healthier food options. After two weeks in another home, can Gayla Long convince the Stephens-Fowlers that there is more to life than school and work and help them bond as a family? And can Rene Stephens-Fowler show the Longs the importance of taking care of their bodies and expanding their horizons?

Since this was posted,  Stephen Fowler has threatened to sue Reality Roll Call. Click here to read what he wrote:

Stephen Fowler Threatens to Sue