Joshua Wins So You Think You Can Dance

After two hours of performances, an overabundance of kudos, and much ado about everything, Cat Deeley announced that Joshua is America’s Favorite Dancer and $1 million richer. After the show received 60 million votes, Joshua has become the first street-dancer to win. His mother was shouting (and I mean that in the Baptist sense) in the audience. Joshua tells the world to never let anybody tell you that you can’t do anything and that with God you can do everything.

The show’s producers have also added a twist where there is a top girl and a top guy. Katee wins the top girl slot and $50,000 to boot. She was exceedingly happy. So that’s all folks, the end until next year.

Some of the night’s highlights include performances of the judges’ favorite routines from the season. These included:

Courtney and Gev’s Rumba routine

Katee and Joshua’s Bollywood and Lyrical Hip Hop routines

Will and Katee’s Pas Des Deux routine

Twitch and Kherington’s Vienese Waltz

Twitch and Katee’s Contemporary routine

Then the judges decided to jump in on the action, Mary Murphy, who is not as chunky as she appears sitting behind the judges table, performed with Dmitry from Season 2 and Nigel performs a tap dance routine with dancers from the Debbie Allen School of Dance. He actually kept up with those little kids.

They also had the world’s first live-televised popping battle between Phillip Cheeb, who came down with pneumonia during auditions and couldn’t continue, and Robert Murraine, who got scared and quit. They battle to “Closer” by Kanye West. Phillip was smooth and musical, but Robert is a freak of nature who managed to make fun of Phillip’s style even while doing his own. He won hands down.

So, that’s all folks, the end, until next year.

So You Think You Can Dance Top 8 Results

My heart aches. This results episode was pretty emotional. Will, the most talented dancer this season is no longer on So You Think You Can Dance. On the girl side, Comfort has left.

When Kat told Will he was in the bottom two, you could see his heart crash to the floor. The crowd literally gasped. Twitch and Courtney were also in the bottom four. When Twitch found out he was in the bottom, he bent down to the floor. Cat bent down with him and comforted him until he gathered himself. Everyone had to dance their solos before finding out their fate. Comfort did her usual, Twitch was interesting and creative, Courtney was passionate, and Will danced with no energy whatsoever. I guess the most ironic thing was that he performed to the song “Closer” by Goapole. The song is all about getting closer to your dreams, and here he was, possibly further away. In any case, I’ve never seen Will, who throughout this season has been perpetually upbeat, look so deflated. I suppose, when you really consider his rankings, his popularity levels have never been particularly high. He has consistently been in the bottom throughout the season—the only thing keeping him in for the most part was the judges’ respect for his technique. He didn’t have the mojo to get America voting, however.

On second thought, his song choice wasn’t so ironic. I wouldn’t be surprised if an abundance of dance companies weren’t calling him right now trying to get him to sign a contract for when the SYTYCD tour is over.

So You Think You Can Dance Update: July 23

by Lakiya Emerson

I know I’m a week late and 10 dollars short, but America? Comfort over Kherington? Really? My fellow SYTCD-ers, I was out of town last week with limited access to a computer, but I found a television, and as much as I like Comfort, I was exceptionally disheartened to see Kherington go. My 52-year-old Dad can point his feet better than Comfort. I know this because he tried, though he didn’t quite follow through on that pirouette. But that’s not the point. The point is you folks need to rock the vote. I’m not anti-Comfort, just anti-limitations in talent and Comfort hit a brick wall several shows ago. Okay, enough of my tirade, and on to this week’s Top 8.

Tonight, every dancer performs twice and does a solo. They also tell the story of how they began dancing. Toni Basil, an award winning choreographer who is working with Bette Midler, rounds out the judges’ panel in this episode. All she needs is fruit headgear and she’d look like the Chiquita lady, but I respect her.

Will and Courtney open tonight’s performances with a samba choreographed by Jean-Marc Generoux. They dance to “I Fell In Love with the DJ” by Che’Nelle, and wardrobe continues to dress Courtney in such a way that she is vertically naked. This time she looks like Big Bird’s pole-dancing cousin. Nigel says they were great and that their performance made him feel high. He also says that Will look like something out of 300. Mary said they have great chemistry and Toni says she enjoyed it.

Will and Courtney’s second dance is a slow hip hop routine choreographed by Napoleon and Tabitha. Its theme is based on getting a second chance to see someone who has died. Will is like Patrick Swayze in Ghost and Courtney is Demi Moore. They dance to “Like You’ll Never See Me Again” by Alica Keys, which is one of my favorite songs. The problem with favorite songs is you tend to be hyper-critical of what other people do with them, and consequently I’m probably one of the few people in the world who didn’t like the choreography. However, the judges disagreed with me. Nigel said he felt emotionally touched by the performance. Mary says they blew her expectations. Toni says she started as an original pop and locker, and that she’s glad to see street dancing becoming an accepted dance form.

Will was inspired to take up dance lessons because he had to lift Chelsea at least ten times. Debbie Allen saw him in L.A. and gave him a scholarship to her dance school. Let us all do a silent bow to Debbie Allen for such a profound find. Will’s solo is set to “Get Up Offa That Thing” by James Brown. He wears a black pin-striped suit and a wig, and proceeds to execute a few of James Brown’s signature moves. He was so convincing I bet he could join the long line of people who claim that they are owed money from Brown’s estate because he was their father.

Courtney started dancing when she was very young and since, according to her, a dancer’s window of opportunity is very short she decided to take the plunge and audition for SYTYCD. Her solo was good, just not particularly memorable.

Twitch and Katee knew each other before the show, though Katee said she never thought they would be partners. Their first performance is a contemporary routine choreographed by Mia Michaels. It is danced to the song “Mercy” by Duffy and involves a door which Katee, playing a crazy ex-girlfriend, tries to break down. She is seriously in character and Twitch, who plays the cool cucumber boyfriend, just keeps slamming it in her face. They even kiss in the beginning. I’m sure Joshua was livid.

Nigel said their performance was so fantastic that it was hard to critique the dancing. He said they did their best work, and that they’re wonderful characters. Mary says they’re two of the best dancers on the stage. Of course all the gushing could not go on without mention of Mia. I seriously think this woman stands in her mirror and practices the facial expressions she gives for when people tell her how awesome her choreography is. I mean, she must know that we know that she knows that most folks think she’s one of the top contemporary choreographers ever. I think she might have faces “one”, “two”, and “three” that she cycles in and out of rotation, according to the level of adoration she is receiving from her colleagues.

In Katee and Twitch’s second routine, Katee plays a woman on the hunt for a man, and she’s got Twitch on the menu, though he has no interest in her. Tyce Diorio choreographs this Broadway routine set to Sweet Georgia Brown for them. It’s fun and upbeat. Nigel loved it and said that he felt like it could be done on Broadway. He also points out the Twitch is the least trained dancer but is consistently able to follow through on routines. Nigel goes on to tell Katee that there isn’t one routine that he hasn’t enjoyed watching her perform. Mary agreed with Nigel and said they were terrific. Toni said that Twitch dances from the inside out, but that Katee didn’t dance up to the sound of the singer’s voice.

The two dancers’ solos are great. Twitch reveals that he didn’t start seriously dancing until his senior year of high school. He went on to dance in L.A. and in some Korean videos. Katee started out tap dancing at age four, but she was awful. She stuck with her training, eventually finding her niche in contemporary dance.

Mark and Comfort get together to perform a hip hop routine by Tabitha and Napoleon. First off, can I take a moment to point out that Comfort appears to be wearing a Howard University jacket, which is my alma mater, where I attempted to audition for the dance department and the dance squad, and was soundly rejected. But that’s neither here nor there, and I still make up dance routines in my living room when no one is looking. But back to the performance: Comfort reveals why she was picked for the show in this performance. The dance is fast and intricate, and they do a lift where he flips her over his head from a seated position on the floor. Nigel points out what many of us have noticed—that Comfort dances so much better when she’s given choreography. Mark was also great. Mary says they did a great job, and that Comfort is a great dancer and that she didn’t care that she can only do one style. Really? I thought that the point of the show was to choose versatile individuals, but then again, I’m not part of the judging panel.

Tina says that Mark and Comfort were rooted in the music and the beat.

Their next routine is a Foxtrot performed to the song “Lady Luck”. Mark is actually more graceful than Comfort, though Nigel called their performance amateurish. Nigel said Lady Luck walked out of the room when they got the Foxtrot. Mary agreed and called it the worse foxtrot she’d ever seen on the show. Toni reiterates their hip hop routine was fabulous

Comfort attempts to convince America that she has some technical training before she does her solo. Apparently, her father put her in a performing arts school. Unfortunately for her, she played a little too much in class and didn’t soak in enough. Her solo is dry to say the least. Mark tells us that he was as a weird of a child as he is an adult. He started dancing after seeing a musical and ended up being the only boy in his musical theater school. His solo was as amazingly odd as usual, and he really danced like he wanted America to know that he needed to be there.

Joshua and Chelsea first performance is an Argentine Tango choreographed by DMitry Chaplin, who was a top 10 finalist in Season 2 of SYTYCD. The dancers perform to the song “A Los Amigos” from Forever Tango and once again Joshua’s bottom is a lead character in the performance. Nigel asked Mary if Joshua needed to tuck his bottom, but Mary informed him that Joshua’s butt was tucked. Nigel said they chose the most technical of the dances and that Chelsea has the best legs. He found it enjoyable. Mary says it translated in the right way and that Joshua’s flicks were believable instead of looking silly. She said their chemistry was great. Toni says the tango should look spontaneous and torrid and that they had accomplished just that. Their next dance is a disco to “Everlasting Love” by Gloria Estefan. Joshua’s strength was front and center in this performance as he had to lift Chelsea at least ten times. He’s tired at the end, and I was pretty sure he was going to drop her in the last movement, where he swung her over his head and she ended up upside down. They also do a Superman Lift where he lifts her straight up in the area from a standing position. Nigel talks at length about the length about how fabulous it is that he’s so strong, since many dancers cannot do what he does. Mary agrees with Nigel. Toni said that Joshua captured the spirit of the disco era

Chelsea, who turned nineteen last night, started dancing because she was shy and wanted some friends. At fourteen she began competing in the junior ballroom. She danced to “Damaged” by Danity Kane. Usually the ballroom dancers are pretty boring soloists, but she did some interesting moves that kept my attention. Joshua started dancing because he wouldn’t stop dancing in his third grade classroom. His teacher Mrs. Wyatt had to kick him out of class because he wouldn’t sit still. She sent him home with a permission slip to audition for Pepito’s Story, which his mother signed.

That’s it folks. I’m off to vote. Now that the judges aren’t mediating, everything’s up for grabs and you’ll really have to come back tomorrow for the results, as anyone could be unceremoniously cut from the show.

So You Think You Can Dance 2 of 8 Voted Off This Week

Don’t forget to watch So You Think You Can Dance this week as we get down to the wire in the search for the best couple. This week two of the eight dancers left will be going home to leave the top six dancers to dance another week on the Hot Tamale Train!

So You Think You Can Dance July 3 Results

by Lakiya Emerson

There can be only one SYTYCD couple immortal in 2008 and neither Kourtni, nor Matt, will be it. Tune in next week to find out what other dancers will have their legs lopped off. Happy Independence Day!!

So You Think You Can Dance: July 3 Recap

by Lakiya Emerson

With seven couples remaining, the judges aren’t as forgiving of dancer’s ability (or inability) to capture styles outside of their own. The judges have hit the sonic overdrive button on their expectations. Tabitha and Napoleon D’Umo serve as guest judges tonight along with Simon Cowell. Simon was not actually on the panel, but Nigel was seriously channeling his musical partner’s surly snarkiness as he told more than one dancer that they needed to step up their game. There’s no opening choreography as each couple must dance two routines.

Jessica and Will open up the night with a jive, which is a 40s era African American style dance that had its roots in the jitterbug. You can Google it, but you’ve probably seen an abundance of stock footage of women being thrown up and then starting some footwork just as they land. It’s a fun style, and Will and Jessica play it well, though, once again, Will makes Jessica look like a wet noodle. Mary said they missed a lot of connections though they probably fooled a lot of people. Nigel says Will had great bounce. Jessica is told she isn’t up to par, and Nigel raises the specter of partners being switched. But, I’ll say what he didn’t—if it weren’t for being partnered with Will, Jessica would have kicked it a long time ago. But Jessica redeems herself in the second dance where they do some cool switching in and out of, flipping through, and waving one blue button down shirt. It starts off a bit dry, then becomes pretty big. Will is shirtless and at the end, Mary and Tabitha have a girlie moment over his body while Nigel asked the audience, “Who wants to dance with Will.” All the women and gay men of America stand up. Tabitha said Will has nice lines. Napoleon says that Will can fly to the top of the competition, and he points out that Jessica was holding Will down. I don’t think anyone could hold Will down, though he’s basically been carrying her throughout the competition, not because she can’t dance, but because she has little faith in her abilities. Mary called the performance “fire,” and she put them on the train. Nigel tells Jessica to stop worrying about herself and dance. Apparently they had a few meltdowns doing the week, but he told Jessica that the only thing that mattered was her performance during the night.

Comfort and Thayne are a new couple, but they have a lot of chemistry. They dance a routine from West Side Story, and they are believable enough to make me want to watch a great musical—one of the ones that were created before they became ubiquitous and phenomenally cheesy. Can I point out that one day, we’ll probably look back on today’s superhero movies with the same attitude? Tabitha, Napoleon, and Mary like their performance. Nigel was not pleased however, and took issue with their level of passion; meaning it wasn’t high enough. He said that if they’d attempted to perform their routine on Broadway, they would have been booed off the stage. Cat reminds America that their vote will determine who gets booed on this show. Comfort and Thayne’s next dance is a waltz set to some Irish-flute-sounding song. I don’t know much about waltzes, so I was a bit bored until they did a lift that made Comfort look like a pretty blue bird soaring sideways through the air. They definitely caught my attention at that point, but Tabitha wasn’t convinced. She said Thayne’s facial expressions were phony. Meanwhile, according to Mary and Nigel, Comfort has transformed from a caterpillar into a butterfly and waltzing queen, all because she took out her eyebrow piercing. At least that’s how Nigel put it. I suppose Comfort can join Clark Kent in the long line of individuals who can suddenly become spectacular by removing one accessory.

Kourtni and Matt do a hip hop routine first, and neither of them is confident. Matt mentions dusting off his solo routine. They just might have to. Their routine looks like one of those dances that the cheerleaders do at half time. Everyone’s excited because they’re dancing instead of cheering, but at the end of the day the performance is really bad. Napoleon says they were good, but if they’d been competing in a hip hop competition they wouldn’t make it very far (which is a nice way of saying they were bad). Mary basically said they she didn’t feel anything. Nigel asked for his boo upfront. Once the audience had satisfied its need to indicate its presence, Nigel said he wasn’t sure about the choreography or them. He called it hip hop on sleeping pills. Their hip hop debacle is followed by a samba. Tabitha says she’s hot and cold about them; I’m just cold. Mary says Kourtni was hot, but that together they had no chemistry. Nigel gives them a long list of technical critiques, to which, of course, the audience boos. I had to stop typing and stare at the screen in amazement when he tells the audience to stop booing. He said, “We’re trying to make people better here and if you don’t like it, then don’t come to the show.” Wow, Nigel, wow. That’s pretty gansta. It’s downright Cowellish, though I’ve never heard Simon tell people to stop coming. I’m sure someone in corporate just had a minor coronary.

The way things are looking right now, Adam Shankman may have been right when he said that Chelsea and Mark were the couple to beat. They were on point and dancing like professionals in their first performance. Tabitha points out that they have a great ability to convey a story line. Mary, after one of her annoying intros, said she loved it. Nigel said they know how to use each other. Their next routine is in ballroom and despite having a feather stuck in her mouth from her ridiculous outfit, Chelsea danced beautifully. Mary says they pulled it off, but Nigel said Mark looked uncomfortable. Mary attempts to defend Mark, but Nigel pulls another zinger from the Book of Simon 20:15, and says he really respects Mary’s opinion but that he wished she’d give it three decibels lower. Mary continues laughing, but become more and more deflated as she tries to figure out if this was a battle worth fighting. I’m sure it continued backstage, after the corporate exec with the coronary tells Nigel he’s suing him for the pain and suffering caused by fear of losing advertising dollars along with audience members.

Chelsea and Mark might be the couple to beat, but they’re not nearly as exciting, or light-hearted, or funny, as Twitchington. I’m sorry, I’m a sucker for a good laugh, and even in their corniest moments, I’m always excited to see Twitch and Kherington. Their first performance is flamenco. The costumes, which are complete with capes, are fabulous; and you can tell that the two of them were having crazy fun as the stomp around and flick the capes and look like their ready to stab the bull with a sword. Before I tell you what the judges thought, I want to take a brief moment to honor Twitch’s abs, for which there are too many words to describe and since I cannot decide on one, I’ll give you my stream of consciousness: Good gracious look at that. I need to wash my delicates. Do they still make mounds chocolates? …. I’ll spare you all the rest. Back to our regularly scheduled recap: Tabitha said that Twitch didn’t embrace his character until half way through, but that Kherington was great with the cape. Mary said the performance was just okay, but she was definitely entertained. Nigel says Twitch was wearing his shoulders like earrings and everyone agreed that Twitch didn’t come up to Kherington’s level. Twitch redeemed himself in this next number, which involved a propped up bed, roses and a number of spastic movements. It was a Mia Michaels choreography in which the two dancers are clearly trying to connect, but aren’t quite seeing eye-to-eye. So maybe Mia was trying to redeem herself after that whole smiling incident. Nigel says Twitch was committed to the dance, that the performance was believable and that he was thoroughly entertained. Twitchington gets added to his top couples list.

Kattee and Joshua have a Mia Micheals choreography first, and it is truly amazing. They are practically standing still, yet the slightest movements seem to make the biggest impression. It’s weird and phenomenal as they take two steps forward then two steps back; five steps forward and five steps back. There are more than a few hip hop moves and one movement where Joshua holds Katee while she appears to be running. It looks lie something out of Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon. Tabitha said they owned the stage while, Napoleon says they understand that a chorography is so much more than dancing. Mary says they haven’t missed one time. Nigel said it takes absolute concentration and strength to barely move and still convey an emotion, proving that they are one of the three or four couples who will make this season outstanding. In their next dance Joshua somehow reminds me of James Brown. All the judges are happy with their performance and Nigel points out that they have the ability to adapt to various styles

Courtney and Gev perform a hip hop routine or rather, Courtney dances hip hop while Gev does a few steps. I’d forgotten that hip hop was Gev’s style, but anyone who just started watching the show would have never known. Forget about the fact that the two of them were dancing in Timberlands, which have got to be the heaviest boots ever, but Chelsea out danced Gev hands down. The judges all point out that Courtney killed it and that Gev, who looked like he was thinking too hard, was disappointing. But what knocked me out was when Napoleon and Nigel voiced their differing opinions about Courtney’s level of ghettoness. Napoleon said she was ghetto with her moves and Nigel said she wasn’t. Never in my life would I have expected to hear anyone berate a white girl for not being ghetto enough. Times change. Their next, and final performance was a very convincing Broadway routine to New York, New York. Tabitha said she could see them dancing in the middle of rush hour traffic. Mary said they were dynamic and believable, and pointed out that they have yet to be in the bottom three. Nigel raises his snark count by saying they tend to slip under the radar, and that it might be because of their height. He finally points out that they used the stage well. Surprisingly there were no Fourth of July themes in tonight’s show. Maybe they’ll do so in the results episode, which will be airing Thursday. However, if you’re too inebriated to watch on Thursday night, come check us out on Reality Roll Call on Friday.

So You Think You Can Dance Week 3 Recap and Elimation

By Lakiya Emerson

I looked back at some RSS feeds of comments about SYTCD when it was first coming on the air, and it’s amazing how this American Idol spinoff has become an institution in its own right. And as the show gets bigger, Nigel Lythgoe becomes weirder and weirder. Last week he demonstrated proper ball grabbing technique and this week he continued his randy old man routine with the verbal sexual assault of Joshua and his father.

But before we get into that, can I point out that Mary looked like she either did a leap into a chandelier or was attacked by a bedazzler, or maybe both? I’d like to see the choreography for that story line. And Cat is wearing a cream colored doily. Adam (a.k.a the annoying judge) Shankman filled out the last judges spot with his usual verbal diarrhea, though, his comments were nothing compared to the Mia’s smiling argument of last week.

This week, all the dancers must clue America in on things about their partners that the general public would not know.

Kherington, though she doesn’t know what bears sound like, says Twitch sounds like a bear when he laughs. Twitch reveals that he actually has some common sense under all his humor. The two do a hip hop routine choreographed by Napoleon and Tabitha Duma. Twitch says he realizes that expectations will be high since hip hop is his style, and that Kheringon has to come up to his level. She does just that, and at times dances a little harder than Twitch. The routine, danced to Don’t Touch Me, by Busta Rhymes, is about inmates who break out of jail. The dance is fantastic and included binoculars on the bottom of Kherington’s shoes. Nigel tells them they’re brilliant dancers with enormous spirit and energy beyond their dancing and that he could think of no negatives. Mary, after telling Twitch that he killed it, does one of her rebel yells. Adam says they were awesome, and spends another ten minutes telling them how to improve. After everyone wakes up, the producers go to commercial break.

Courtney G and Gev danced a spectacular rumba to Wishing on a Star. But before they did that, Gev found himself in even murkier friend zone territory. Apparently, according to Courtney, he looked like a girl when he was a child. I was really starting to pity this dude until I saw the performance, which included gratuitous butt grabbing. The choreographers pointed out that Gev blushed every time he did it. No matter how embarrassed he seemed about doing it, he sure did grab a handful. Her boyfriend was probably somewhere grinding his teeth, especially after seeing her costume, which was not only see through but left one entire side of her body naked. She literally looked naked, depending on which side of her body was facing the camera. Nigel saluted wardrobe, saying “I’m so pleased that the wardrobe budget could only afford half a dress.” But the two danced beautifully. Gev was complimented many times over for being able to be more than a hip hop dancer and Mary pointed out that they had great chemistry.

What don’t we know about Chris and Comfort? Chris is a food moocher and Comfort was in a beauty pageant as a kid—they even show creepy pictures of her wearing too much make-up. I’m sorry but anytime I see small girls in pageants, I invariably think of Jon Benet Ramsey, but Comfort seemed to made it out of the beauty pageant mill okay. She comments on their Krumping choreography from the week before, saying that it wasn’t what she expected, which was just a nice way of saying that it sucked. Luckily, they get Tyce this week who creates an African jazz routine set to The Beautiful People by Marilyn Manson. He tells them it should be earthy and grounded and gives them brown sheets to represent mud. The dance is hot, but somehow they don’t manage to fill it out. Whereas last week they had bad choreography, this week they don’t live up to the routine’s potential. Nigel says the performance should have been stronger, bigger and more animalistic, and that their energy fell short. Mary says that Comfort is no longer on the train and Chris is holding on to the caboose. Adam says they were good, but not off the chain.

Jessica apparently had red hair as a child, so her mother called her Ariel, which explains a lot about her habit of randomly dissolving into tears. She wants so much to dance with the humans and her fear that some monstrous octopus-like creature is going to snatch her back to the sea. It’s either that, or the doctors need to raise her Xanax prescription. Meanwhile, Jessica says that Will is an absolute gentleman. Doriana Sanchez choreographs a disco for them, but she isn’t happy with Jessica’s commitment and in the performance Will out-dances her as usual. The performance opens with Will doing the iconic Saturday Night Fever, move with one finger in the air and one hand on his hip. They do an awesome drop spin that looks like it belongs on the ice, and at the end Will very obviously loses his balance and must put his hand on the ground. Jessica, very coolly, put her hand on the ground as well. Despite their mistakes, the judges love their performance. The sea monster won’t be coming for Jessica just yet.

Matt is the Where’s Waldo of Ninja’s. He wears a red and white striped Ninja mask throughout their montage. But the choreographer, Sonia, looks like an extra out of Mad Max: all tall Mohawk, with shaved sides and lip piercings. I was just waiting for her to flick her tongue at the screen and then bludgeon the cameraman. But her contemporary choreography is fun and very cool to say the least. It has a comic book theme, but made me think of a modern Raggedy Ann and Andy, especially since they were dressed in Urban Outfitters-like wear, and the dance is set to once of those annoying dance tracks that are played in downtown boutiques when store managers want to seem “cool.” Nigel asks, “Will the public understand the dance? No, but dancers will,” he says. Mary says there was something weird for sale and that she’s buying it. She called the performance quirky but said it showcased their talents—synchronized leaps, extended legs and all that. Unfortunately, their aren’t enough dancers in America to keep these two out of the bottom three, and once again they have to dance for their lives in the results show.

Chelsea and Thayne are doing a quick step. Thayne wants to be a fashion designer. But, you would have thought he would have spoken up during the wardrobe session last week before they put a cauliflower around Chelsea’s neck. Speaking of flowers, Chelsea has a tendency to steal flowers out of people’s gardens. Heather Smith choreographs a quick step for them and tells them they have to have chicken wings and a round back. I don’t know much about the quick step, but everything about their performance, from the choice of music, to their costumes to their dancing, seems off. They’re wearing ballroom wear, but dancing to Phil Collins’ You Can’t Hurry Love. The song choice made sense with the choreography, but the outfits, which were beautiful in their own right, just seemed all wrong—she wore a silver gown and he was wearing a suit. And then they were smiling so hard that you could practically see all of Thayne’s teeth. Nigel said they looked like they had Band-Aids on their cheeks, and that they had no personality. He predicts that they’ll have to get their solos ready, and sure enough, the two were in this week’s bottom three.

Chelsea says Mark is weird, and Mark calls Chelsea a closet tomboy. Napoleon and Tabitha choreograph a hip hop routine for them that was, hands down, the best routine of the night. The routine is about a workaholic and his love interest who wants a bit more of his time. Mark compares learning a dance to being a chalice—how often do people refer to themselves as a chalice? I’m sure when he’s not dancing, he’s writing bad poetry. But these two sell the daylights out of this dance. The judges love it, and Adam stands up and screams like a maniac. “You made me feel so, horrible I loved it,” he said before declaring them the couple to beat.

Joshua looks more than a bit scared when Courtney opens up their envelope to reveal that they’re doing a Samba choreographed by Kaci and Joshua. She’s playing a seductress, and he smiles as she raises her leg in the air. Their montage is about her sexiness or her lack thereof. But after all the hip thrusting and wiggling in their performance, everyone agrees that she has more than enough sexiness, especially considering she’s wearing the purple feathered version of Courtney G.’s dress. Meanwhile, Joshua is wearing a pair of pants that are so tight, they’re almost obscene. They inspire Nigel to ask Joshua if he gets his pop-a-nickel derriere bottom from his poppa. After Joshua’s dad stands up and wiggles his own bottom, everyone agrees that’s where he gets it from, though I think folks were just trying to be nice. Buns of steel aside, I was just mad to see a man over forty with cornrows. Braids are okay on men up until their mid 20s. After that, it’s just sad.

At the end of the night, clear front runners stand and during the results show it’s revealed that the usual suspects are in the bottom three: Chelsea and Thayne, Comfort and Chris, and Kourtni and Matt. They dance for their lives, but Chelsea and Chris don’t make it through.