Paris Hilton Clears The Air

Last week, the Paris Hilton internet news was that she went ballistic when she wasn’t allowed to buy a puppy to use as an accessory in a photo shoot. Well, she’s been reading the things that people have been saying about her (or at least having someone tell her about it), and she wants to set the record straight.

From the pages of her MySpace blog:

“I wanted to let you know that I’ve been getting messages and reading stories about an incident that supposedly happened with me and a pet store: I was catching up on news last week only to read a story about me walking by some puppies for sale, and demanding that I be given a Yorkie puppy to be an accessory for a photo shoot. These stories have gotten out of control and I want to clear some things up-

“I wasn’t looking for a new pet, I wasn’t even at a photo shoot that day, (I was down the street at Benji’s DCMA clothing store) and I actually have a Yorkie puppy. I love animals and the cruel things people say are not acceptable. Puppies are not accessories or toys and I love my own pets dearly–I treat them as if they were my children. Of course I support pet adoption from shelters, and I made sure that my BFF show involved a local one to spread the word about how these animals need loving owners. So it is sad that someone felt the need to invent a story about me throwing a fit for a dog that would “go with my outfit.”

I have no idea where people come up with these stories and they are spreading to so many news outlets that I just have to speak my mind and clear things up, especially with my fans. I love you all and appreciate your messages, as always.”

Paris Hilton was a co-star of the reality show, The Simple Life and is currently taping a reality show for MTV, where the winner will be her BFF.

Paris Won’t Have a Double Wedding With Nicole

Paris Hilton has squashed rumors that she would be having a double wedding with her BFF, and Simple Life co-star Nicole Richie. The two are currently hooked up with twin brothers Benji and Joel Madden of Good Charlotte. Nicole has a baby daughter with Joel.

Paris says that even though she has heard the double wedding rumor, she would want to have separate weddings.

Probably because they wouldn’t be able to round up enough puppies for the bridal bouquets.

Paris Hilton Not Allowed to Buy a Puppy Necklace

Recently heiress and reality tv star Paris Hilton had a major hissy fit when The Puppy Store in Los Angeles wouldn’t let her buy a Yorkshire Terrier puppy for a photo shoot.

Paris was on her way to a photo shoot over the weekend, and decided that a puppy in the picture would make it cuter. So, she explained that to the good people at The Puppy Store on Melrose, and they denied her purchase. An employee there cited the purchase as “an impulse buy”, according to Page Six.

Clearly, the foolish employee didn’t know the difference between an impulse buy and the well thought out fashion accessory. Having left her other canine brooches and purses at home, Paris, “went ballistic”, and according to sources, “She started screaming, ‘I love my puppies! I want my baby!’”

And as anyone who has ever worked in customer service can attest, the screaming customer usually gets nothing…but becomes the subject of amusing conversation when they leave.

Is Paris Hilton Pregnant?

Paris Hilton with child? It wouldn’t be surprising, you know. She is dating her best friend’s baby daddy’s twin brother, Benji Madden. And even though she is looking for a new BFF, I don’t think that’s going to work out. So, if she had more in common with her childhood friend and Simple Life cohort, Nicole Richie, they could do so much more fun stuff together. Just like I wrote in my idea for their new reality show.

Even though it hasn’t been confirmed, there are some interesting pictures over at Popbytes.com, and she certainly looks to have a croissant in the hearth, right down to the protruding navel.

Don’t believe me? Click here to see for yourself.

Paris Hilton Headed Back to Reality TV

Fun-loving, disinherited socialite Paris Hilton will be making her way back to reality tv airwaves, in search of a new BFF.

Paris, who is best known for her reality tv hijinks with childhood friend Nicole Richie on The Simple Life, is sad and lonely and is looking for a new best friend, and hopes to find it among the contestants on her new reality show. After all, every girl needs a friend to drive panty-less to clubs with. And, as everyone knows from all the reality dating shows, the best place to find a sincere, long-term relationship is to pick one from a group of wanna-be actors on a reality show.

I think Paris is not seeing the real opportunity, though. According to sources, she is dating her best friend’s baby’s-daddy’s twin brother, Benji Madden. So, how about the two of them hook up, and adopt a baby? Sure, it’s not as easy as finding a new best friend, but it would be entertaining. Then, for the second season of the show, she and Nicole can get back together, and do The Simple Life: Baby Edition. Then, when the babies get into the terrible twos, they can do a crossover show with The Supernanny.

Somebody tell Paris to give me a call.

Paris Hilton Not Filthy Rich

Former star of reality show The Simple Life, Paris Hilton has officially been demoted filthy rich heiress to rich bitch, thanks to her grandfather, Barron Hilton.

Granddaddy Hilton, age 80, has earmarked 97 percent of his fortune to go to the Conrad N. Hilton foundation. The foundation will assist in aiding causes around the world.

And the remaining 3 percent, which is around $69 million, will go to Barron’s heirs. After taxes, Paris is looking at $5 million. Don’t you feel for her? Barron Hilton is the son of the founder of the Hilton Hotel chain.

For more about Paris Hilton, click here. 

Disinherited Paris Hilton Cast in Canadian Rock Opera

The Simple Life Goes to Camp co-star Paris Hilton is reported to be cast in Repo! The Genetic Opera, which is set to begin filming in Toronto on September 10th. The movie will also star Paul Sirvino. Click here for full story .

Hey, a girl’s gotta make money the best way she can now that she’s been disinherited from her grandfather’s will for all her publicly captured transgressions.